February

February is going to be a good month. I'm judging that by the fact that today is the first day of the month and its the first day in almost 2 months where I've had absolutely NOTHING to do! Its a fantastic feeling, especially since I have been so stressed and overwhelmed lately.

As for other good things during the shortest month of the year:

~In less than 2 weeks I'm on my way home to New Jersey. I'm excited because the last time I went home was in October, and that was for my Grandma's funeral, so it wasn't exactly a happy vacation. This time its to visit my other set of Grandparents who are turning 80 (Grandma in February and Grandpa in March). My grandparents have been pretty bummed for the past few years because I have been moving around and not living anywhere close to NJ and my mom moved to Georgia a few years ago. Couple that with the fact that my aunt lives in Vermont, and they have no family nearby anymore. Its sad to me because the few times that I have seen my grandparents, my grandfather always cries and tells me how much he misses me. I've always been really close to this set of grandparents so its so hard for me to see him like that. Anyway, my mom is planning a surprise 80th birthday party for them. They know that my mom will be coming into town and taking them out to dinner. They don't know that I'll also be in town and thats the surprise :-). My mom wants to keep it a secret that I am coming out there for a few days so I'm getting excited. I know they are going to be thrilled to see me and I'm thrilled that I am going to see them! The only downside is that Mr. V can't come with me so I'll miss Valentine's Day. I guess we can always celebrate earlier or later though.

~Less than a week after getting back from New Jersey I'm off to Vancouver for the 2010 Winter Olympics. I figured that since I live closer to Canada than to Seattle, then I might as well try to get tickets to the winter games. I've loved watching figure skating in the Olympics since I was a little kid, so I hunted out some tickets for ice dancing and will be headed that way on the 19th. Mr. V is less than thrilled about going to see figure skating, but since he wasn't nearly as excited as I was about the Olympics being so close, he just went along with it. He's not sure if he'll be able to get off of work to go with me (and he won't know until the night before...grrr), but thankfully I have a friend who will be my "backup" if he can't make it. I doubt he'll be too upset if he misses figure skating though :-).

~And finally, about a week ago Mr. V passed his PPC board (Patrol Plane Commander). For P3's this is the farthest he can advance job wise in the actual plane (its not a rank promotion). This means that I will hopefully be able to see a little more of him this month. Each advancement requires hours upon hours of studying so I feel like I actually talked to him more when he was in Iraq, than I have since he's been home. So thankfully, while I'm sure he'll still be overworked, at least he won't have to hide away in a room on base to study anymore. Maybe I'll really have my husband back now :-).

And that's February for me! Hopefully it will continue to be a happy month!

Opinions on Babysitting

I don't know why I am having such a hard time making decisions for myself lately, but here's my latest dilemma. I have been babysitting for a lady in town every week, usually 2-3 days a week. She pays me $10 an hour which is what she offered, but its also what I would typically charge anyway. She called me today to ask if she could refer me to a friend of her's. The friend has a 4 month old baby girl, but she can only afford to pay $6-$7 an hour. The lady I babysat for said she wasn't going to recommend me right away because she didn't know if I would be ok with that kind of pay. It would only be an on-call type job - maybe a few days a week, maybe nothing at all for a week. After dealing with the $3 an hour babysitting lady I am a little apprehensive of anyone wanting to pay me less than I usually charge. That might just be because I had a bad experience though.

In this case it seems to be an issue of not being able to afford to pay me more, not that she's just cheap and clueless. I am much more sensitive to that. I typically charge $10-$15 an hour and in every place I have lived so far, I have met people who are unwilling to pay that much, but at the same time I have always ended up with a steady job from at least a few people who are more than willing to pay what I ask for. Also, her baby is only 4 months old. I know that in many ways, infants need a lot more care than older kids do. But at the same time, while they need more care, I'm not exactly going to be overexerting myself chasing a kid around, dealing with an attitude problem, etc. I'm thinking of saying yes to the job. I don't like the idea of working for less than minimum wage ($8.55 in Washington state), but $6-$7 could be worth my while. At $3 an hour, I feel like my time is better spent at home keeping things organized and under control here. But $6-$7 seems reasonable if its all that someone can afford.

Sooooo take the job or not? I'm leaning towards yes.....

Babysitting Rant - Is this finally the end?

If you know me well, then you know that I am NOT a confrontational person. I am barely capable of picking up the phone and ordering a pizza without freaking out first. Well, I just emailed Crazy Woman and told her that I am not babysitting for her anymore. I know I probably should have called her, but she tends to talk her way out of things and into getting her way. I have enough of a phone phobia as it is, so I know I would be a blubbering mess if she started to beg and trip me up somehow.

Basically, I told her that I am not healing as quickly as I thought I would, and therefore have no idea when I will be able to go back to work. I told her that she should ask the girl who is working for her now if she can stay on (although I know this girl, and I know she isn't going to), or start to look for someone else because I can't be a reliable sitter right now.

I am hoping that she'll take this well because I really don't feel like dealing with her. The worst part is that most of what I told her isn't even a lie. I AM healing slower than I thought I would. I still have bad swelling and pain, and I still have 2 black eyes (although they are starting to go away).I can't touch my nose without it hurting and yesterday I was rubbing my eye, and rubbed too close to my nose and ended up in excruciating pain because I rubbed my nose WAY too hard. Even if I liked this job and even if she paid me well, I still wouldn't go back anytime soon because my face is just still too sensitive. One day when I was babysitting, the little girl was playing dress up and she was pretending to put makeup on me. Seems harmless right? But its not. I can't have a 2 year old rubbing my face and tapping it and playing with it - no matter how gentle she is. I also can't lift her up. I went out bowling with some friends this past Saturday and I thought I would be fine. I picked a light 8 pound ball and started bowling. It took 4 times of throwing (rolling?) that ball for me to feel pain in my face again. It was just a stretching, painful feeling, so before I did any severe damage, I sat down and let Mr. V finish bowling for me, and then sat out of the second game.

So my point is, technically I should be going back to work for this lady next Wednesday and I don't think that can happen regardless of my distaste for her.

Just wish me luck, that I don't have to talk to her about this for a long time. My fingers are crossed that she will just read my email, say "ok" and go find someone else to work for her.

Vindicated!!

Mr. V was watching the news tonight while I was being an old lady working on a cross stitch project. I was barely paying attention to the news when I overheard the reporter talking about the top 5 jobs in the area to make extra money from. Since I currently have no job, that got my attention for a bit. They listed the jobs and the annual salary you would make if you worked 40 hours a week. It was an average, not an exact amount, of course, but what was on the list? Childcare!!! Apparently, childcare in this area can earn you almost $20,000 a year. It didn't specify if that was from working at a preschool or day care or working from home, but it DID specify that a childcare provider has an average hourly wage of about $9.46. I wonder if Crazy Woman was watching the news tonight. I just love that after all my ranting about my babysitting job, they actually said, on the local news, that a childcare provider in this area makes $9.46 an hour. $9.46 an hour! Take THAT Crazy Woman! :-)

(no...I am not going to get over this whole situation easily...)

Babysitting Excuses

I went to lunch with some friends today and we started coming up with some excuses for me to get out of this babysitting job.

Just as an update, my surgery is tomorrow. Crazy woman found someone to cover for me for the 3 weeks I will be recovering. However, this new person has no intention of helping her out beyond those 3 weeks. Crazy woman still thinks that I plan to come back in exactly 3 weeks. I've never actually told her that, so she is just assuming. All I have told her is that I will talk to her after my surgery and let her know how I feel.

Now here's the problem. This is a woman that I will most likely see around town. I absolutely do not want to keep babysitting for her. Mr. V and I had a long discussion about this, and even he agrees that I need to get out of this situation NOW. In his mind, I'm doing this lady a favor, but its a permanent favor. (I'd also like to note, once again, that I'm not greedy. I have no problem helping people out. I have no problem taking jobs that don't pay a lot. I have a problem with the reality that this woman lives in, and her attitude towards Ms. A about asking for more money, and her attitude in general.)

I need an excuse that will make sense, but not make me look like a horrible person. I don't want to have to lie, but clearly, telling her that I can't work for just $3 an hour isn't something that I can say without her freaking out again. I'm hoping to come up with an excuse that is as truthful as possible, but at the same time I have no problem lying if it will get me out of this situation.

So here is what we've come up with:

1. I'm having surgery (obviously this one will only last for about 3 weeks)

2. My surgery didn't go as planned. My recovery is taking longer than I thought and the doctor said he can't give me a time frame right now as to when I'll be 100% better.

3. My husband is deploying soon and I might go home to New Jersey or North Carolina for a few months (This is half true. Mr. V really is deploying soon and I do plan on going to New Jersey and North Carolina, but only for a vacation, not for the entire length of the deployment.) When she sees me around town and wonders why I'm still here, I would say "Well I didn't say I WAS going home for his deployment. I just said that I MIGHT go home and plans are still up in the air."

4. I started a new quilt and its taking up too much of my time.

5. I have mono. Who knows when it will go away?

6. My arms are getting amputated. Therefore I clearly can't pick up your child, change her diaper, or feed her.

Clearly, by this point, we were running out of excuses. I'm curious to see if anyone else has a good excuse, or just some good advice. I really don't want to come off as mean, because I will definitely see this woman around. I'm not a very good confrontational person, so this whole situation makes me feel really awkward and anxious. So....any ideas/advice?

Babysitting Rant - The Drama Continues *second update*

And the babysitting rant continues....

I have officially decided that this woman is crazy. Maybe things are different in Washington. I don't know. But here is what happened today...

I am having sinus surgery next Wednesday. I was told to stop taking any aspirin or ibuprofen 10 days before the surgery. Since I have horrible chronic sinus problems I pretty much live on Advil Cold and Sinus. I don't take it every day, but I do take it quite often and it helps get me through the day when my sinus headaches get too bad. I also take a lot of Excedrin Migraine when I have a debilitating sinus induced migraine, which also happens often. For the past few days I haven't been able to take either of my 2 miracle drugs. So of course that means I would get hit by the worst sinus headache in the history of my life. I've been feeling pretty miserable for the past few days, and have been laying around on the couch all day. I've gotten up occasionally because the headache subsides a little, but then it always comes back.

Tomorrow I am supposed to babysit for Mrs. $3 an hour again. I'm really not feeling up to babysitting. I'm really not feeling up to doing anything at all. If I was making more money I would probably force myself to push through the day. But for $3 an hour it just doesn't seem worth it. I'm not even saying that to be nasty about the situation. I just don't think that my complete misery for the day is worth only $24.

I talked with a friend of mine to see if she would cover for me tomorrow. She agreed to, but since she is a little more confrontational than I am, she decided that she would tell this woman right up that she charged at least $7 an hour. I thought that was a great idea. Neither one of us expected her to be happy about that, but we never anticipated that this woman would freak out the way she did!

Here is the shortened version of what happened this afternoon (I'll call my friend Ms. A :-)):

I called the woman and told her that I've been having major sinus problems and I can't take any medicine for it. I told her that I really wasn't up to babysitting tomorrow, but since this was last minute, I didn't want to leave her hanging, so would it be ok if Ms. A took the job for me tomorrow?

Woman says "sure!"

She calls Ms. A and Ms. A doesn't have a car here. A while ago when I mentioned that Ms. A could take over for me occasionally, Crazy Woman agreed to drop her daughter off at her house because of her no car situation. For whatever reason, she didn't want to do that tomorrow so she freaked out a little and asked me if I would be willing to pick up Ms. A and drive her to babysit. I wasn't really interested in that, because I didn't want to do anything tomorrow including waking up early, but whatever, I said "ok". I figured I could just go back to sleep when I get back home.

So Crazy Woman calls Ms. A back and Ms. A says "I just want to let you know that I charge $7 an hour." (I'm very proud of Ms. A :-)).

Crazy Woman FREAKS out!! She tells Ms. A something along the lines of "Are you KIDDING me? NO ONE charges that much money. That's INSANE! Oh my God! I can't afford that. Are you KIDDING me? I only pay $3.50 an hour for my son to go to preschool. I don't need a licensed home daycare, I just want someone to take care of my daughter!"

Ms. A tells Crazy Woman that she just wanted to let her know so that it didn't come as a shock later on. Crazy Woman continues to freak out and say something along the lines of "Well this IS a SHOCK! No one in their right mind charges more than $3 an hour to babysit. I simply can't afford you."

Then Crazy Woman calls me back and freaks out on ME! "Oh my God!! Ms. A charges $7 an hour. Are you KIDDING me?? Who does she think she's going to get that kind of money from? I have NEVER heard that anyone charges more than $3 an hour to babysit. I can't afford her. WOW. I simply CAN'T believe this."

She continued to go on and on and on and on while I sat there silently in complete disbelief, not knowing what to say. I never once imagined that she would react this way.

Once Crazy Woman calmed down a bit, she then freaked out that now she has no babysitter for tomorrow. (I felt like saying "Sorry lady, I provided you with a backup plan and you didn't accept it. Its not my problem anymore.") So since I am a wimp and can't stand up for myself, I told her that I'd still babysit tomorrow, but I can't move around a lot and play and run and chase her daughter all around. She told me that was fine. She told me I could lay on the couch all day tomorrow as long as her daughter is safe.

So here's my plan for tomorrow. I'm going to be nice and babysit. I am bringing a book and some movies, plopping myself onto the couch, and hanging out for the day. As much as I hate to do this to the little girl, I am simply NOT feeling up to being a very interactive babysitter tomorrow. I will make sure she eats, sleeps and has clean diapers. I'll do my best to make sure she doesn't get hurt in any way, and I'll pick up the phone and call 911 if anything happens. Other than that, I'm not doing a thing. I'm not playing with her. I'm not coloring with her. I'm going to do exactly what she said I could do. I'll lay around on the couch all day. That could be worth $24.

Then, when my surgery is done and I'm completely healed, I am simply NOT going back to this job. I have been trying to figure out a way to approach the pay situation, but its clearly obvious that that is a lost cause. I am hoping that whoever replaces me during my recovery time will also tell her she charges $7 or more an hour. I'm also hoping that whoever replaces me will be so well liked that she won't even want me to come back. Otherwise, I definitely need a good reason for not coming back.

Oh...and get this...in the midst of all this, she had the nerve to ask me if I could guarantee that I would babysit on February 10th. For whatever reason, she wants me there that day, and not a replacement. Now its my turn to freak out. Are you KIDDING me lady?? I have explained my surgery to her over and over. I have explained that this is the 3rd time I am having this surgery. I have explained that they are going above and beyond anything they ever did before by completely reconstructing my entire nose, nasal passage and sinuses. I have explained that recovery instructions include not picking anything up over 10 pounds for at least a month. Her daughter is definitely heavier than 10 pounds and I do have to pick her up occasionally. I have explained to her that the last time I ignored that recovery instruction, I ended up with a bloody nose that wouldn't stop bleeding. I have explained to her that part of my 2nd surgery involved fixing part of my 1st surgery that was broken by a child! I had my septum fixed the first time around, and a month later, a 2 year old boy was sitting on my lap. He threw his head back, hit my nose and I have never experienced anything so painful in my life. That caused my septum to re-deviate, which led to my 2nd surgery. The doctor specifically told me to stay away from small kids and large animals during my recovery - basically, anything that could jump or hit me in the nose somehow. Lady, I am NOT disobeying that order! I refuse to have a 4th surgery if this one gets wrecked by your kid!!! I told her that I absolutely can't babysit on the 10th. Thats not even 3 weeks after surgery. I won't heal completely for almost a month. I know I will be capable of getting up and about in general sooner than a month, but I simply refuse to do anything that will jeopardize this procedure. As much as she might think I do, I simply don't enjoy having my sinuses operated on again and again! Ugh I am so irritated beyond belief right now.

I'm thinking of giving her the websites for care.com and sittercity.com tomorrow. Mr. V actually made that suggestion. His idea was to play nice, give her the websites and tell her that she might be able to find a replacement babysitter from the sites (since she is clearly not using Ms. A while I'm recovering like she originally planned). Most people on that site ask for at least $8 an hour and usually more than that. I've seen people ask for even less than that, but I've never seen anyone ask for anything even close to $3. Plus the rate calculators are on the sites too. This way, she'll see for herself that Ms. A isn't crazy for asking for $7 an hour. I kind of like his idea.

When I finally got off the phone with Crazy Woman and had a chance to call Ms. A, her husband got on the phone with an even better idea. He thinks that we should call her place of employment and tell them that she thinks $3 an hour is an acceptable amount of money to pay an employee. I think I like his idea too :-).

So who thinks this is going to end well? Not me!

Babysitting Rant

I feel like a lot of the things I have been talking about lately have been pretty negative (in real life and in this blog). I promise I'm not an unhappy person, I've just found that lately, a lot of stuff has been bothering me. The latest thing bothering me is my latest babysitting job.

I met a lady several months ago when I first moved to Oak Harbor. She has 2 kids. One is in preschool and the other one is 1 1/2 and stays home all day (or goes to someone else's house). The little one had been going to another girl's house 3 days a week. The mother was paying $3 an hour for this care, which is what the other girl charged.

Fast forward to now. This little girl's original babysitter is pregnant and about to have the baby any day now. She stopped babysitting and offered the job to me. I hemmed and hawed and debated this, because I know that she only charged $3 an hour, so thats what the mother would be expecting to pay me, which is simply NOT enough money. I thought of various different ways to ask for more money or for me to turn down the job. In the end, Mr. V and I decided that I should take the job for 2 weeks and then "quit". I will be having a 3rd surgery on my sinuses next week, so we thought that we would be nice, I would help out by babysitting for a few days at the beginning of the month, have my surgery and then not go back to the job.

The idea of $3 an hour to babysit actually horrifies me. I was making more than that when I was 12 years old. Minimum wage in Washington was just raised to $8.55 an hour. I could make more money working at McDonald's and I wouldn't have any diapers to change. I was hoping that when I agreed to the job this lady would ask me how much I charged. If she didn't ask, I was hoping that she would tell me how much she paid, with a "Is that ok with you?" afterwards. I have never in my life babysat for someone who didn't ask me one of those 2 questions. Usually they ask how much I charge, and rarely they simply tell me how much they pay, but either way, I'm always clued in before the job begins.

Thankfully, I went into this job knowing that the last babysitter made only $3 an hour. If I hadn't known that I think I would have cried when I got my check at the end of the week.

So here's what happened. I agreed to babysit for 2 weeks, for 3 days a week. Last week was my first week. I was never asked how much I charged, and she never told me how much she pays. At the end of the week she handed me a check for $66 (yes, you can go ahead and tell me that I'm absolutely crazy to accept that amount now). Like I mentioned before, I knew that I would probably get $3 an hour, but I was still shocked that she never once discussed pay with me. Now I'm just simply annoyed.

I have been babysitting for years and typically make between $10 and $15 an hour. Occasionally, someone will pay $7 an hour. The lowest I ever worked for was $4 an hour, but that was a special circumstance, not an ordinary thing. I just simply can't believe that anyone in their right mind would think that $3 is enough to pay someone.

When I was living in Jacksonville, I was shocked by Craigslist ads looking for babysitters with people offering to pay $5-6 an hour. I never thought I'd see someone go lower than that.

I posted a few websites that I like on my blog, and 2 of the sites are care.com and sittercity.com. I posted these sites because I think more people need to see these sites. Each site has a rate calculator that tells you how much to pay a babysitter based on age, experience and location. The care.com rate calculator says that I am worth $11 an hour. The SitterCity calculator says I am worth $10.25. Yet I actually worked for $3 an hour.

The more and more I think about this, the more I don't want to babysit for 2 more days. In a way, that kind of pay is kind of insulting. I have no idea how to even approach the topic because this woman never brought up pay terms in any way. Thats unusual to me, and I am not a confrontational person, so I feel kind of stuck right now. I do know that she expects me to continue babysitting for her once I am recovered from my surgery, but I think she has a surprise coming to her when I don't return. As much as I need a job and could use more money, I just can't bring myself to accept that kind of pay. I thought I would be able to stick it out for a few days, but each day I get more and more annoyed. I'm not really sure why Mr. V and I agreed to be nice to her and just do this for 2 weeks, but I am regretting that decision every day.

So...any ideas on how I can ask for more money? If not, any ideas on how I can politely tell this woman that after my surgery I won't be coming back to work for her?