Meow Monday

This clearly isn't one of my own cats, but I thought it was appropriate for a Meow Monday post. We came across this guy on the side of the road in the Yukon Territory on our vacation a few weeks ago. I think he'd make a nice addition to my feline bunch at home...don't you think? I mean he's just a really big kitty cat right?

Memories of a friend and lessons learned

Its taken me a while to post this because after receiving this horrible news, my life became a whirlwind of last minute plans to travel to North Carolina for a funeral, followed immediately by a 2 week pre-deployment vacation.

A few weeks ago I received news that Anna, one of my closest friends, had died very suddenly and unexpectedly. At the moment, no one is sure what happened. It can apparently take 6-8 weeks for autopsy results so we are still waiting. When I saw the message that her husband had posted on Facebook, I was numb. I actually sat there for a few minutes trying to figure out why he would joke about something like this...because clearly, that message had to be a joke. Anna had just celebrated her 30th birthday and her 5th wedding anniversary. She was too young to die.

I'm not sure when it finally sunk in that this was no joke. One of my closest friends in the entire world was gone. I would never see her again, or hear her voice and her laughter. I spent most of the night crying, and didn't sleep for a single minute. I'm filled with happy memories, but also regrets.

Anna was one of the first people that I met at Catawba. We used to joke around about how we met because I actually "met" her before I really met her. It was my first day at Catawba and I was in the bookstore with my parents. Our orientation hadn't started yet so we were killing time walking around campus. I was excited, but nervous, and I think some of that nervousness is what made me react the way I did. I saw Anna in the bookstore. She smiled at me, and said hi...and I didn't respond! I have no idea why. I am not the kind of person who would just ignore a random stranger like that. But for some reason, I looked at her, and decided that she was a snob. When my orientation class began later that day, I walked into the room and realized that the "snob" I had seen in the bookstore was in my class! Our orientation classes were small. I think mine had 12 people in it, so what were the odds of the snobby girl from the bookstore being in the same class as me. Later that day, after our parents had left, and we were left alone to mingle with our new friends, Anna and I started talking. I realized in an instant that my initial assessment of her was 100% wrong. She was clearly one of the sweetest girls I had ever met. We became instant friends. For years after that moment, we would joke about the bookstore incident. It turns out that when she saw me in orientation she thought "Oh great, the snobby girl who ignored me in the bookstore is in my class." So at random moments throughout the next 12 years she would say to me "I can't believe you thought I was a snob!" or I would say "I can't believe I ever thought that you were snobby" and we'd have a good laugh about it!

Anna truly had one of the kindest and most compassionate hearts ever. If a friend needed her, she was there. She went out of her way to make people feel loved and comfortable in every instance. I remember one particular time when a friend of ours had his wisdom teeth removed. He had a pretty rough go of it, and was feeling pretty miserable for a few days. Everyone who was friends with him gave him the obligatory "I hope you feel better. Let me know if you need anything." And we all meant that. But I'm almost embarrassed to admit that none of us did anything for him without him asking...except for Anna. He never asked for her help or her comfort, but while the rest of us said "get well soon" and then went on with our daily lives, Anna was the one who took it upon herself to make him soup. It seems like a small gesture, but that's who she was and those are the kinds of things that she did. No one else thought to bring him soup, then sit there with him while he ate it, just to keep him company.

I remember another similar time when I had a horrible allergic skin reaction to something. I have no idea what, but I had broken out into hives everywhere. I was itchy, uncomfortable and miserable. But I just sucked it up, and tried to ignore it. While I was sitting in our room itching every single part of my body, Anna left. I didn't know why she left, but she came back about 15 minutes later with Benadryl cream for me. I never asked her to get me medicine, she just did it without even thinking twice about it. Again - it seems like such a small gesture, but its those small gestures from people that end up meaning the world to someone.

We spent 3 years as college roommates, and when I moved back to North Carolina at the end of 2004, Anna became my roommate again. She wasn't always easy to live with, but I know that I wasn't always a gem of a roommate either. What I found amazing about her though, is that no matter how annoyed I got at her, or whatever petty thing was bothering me at the moment, I could NEVER stay mad at her for more than a few minutes. And if you know me well, you know that its pretty unusual of me to just get over something that quickly. But she was so genuine and so caring, so even when something annoyed me slightly, I always knew that Anna would never, ever intentionally do something to annoy someone on purpose. I truly don't believe that she had a single mean bone in her body.

When I left my fiance a few years ago, I went through some rough times. It was a period of time when I had the unfortunate experience of learning who my true friends were. It was hurtful when some friends that I thought were true friends, turned against me. Logically, I know that these "friends" were never true friends to begin with...but it still hurt. I came out of the whole experience stronger though, and secure in knowing who I could always count on in my life. Anna is one of the people who stuck by me. She let me know, in every possible way that she could, that she would always be there for me, and she would always be my friend. She never judged me. She never waivered her opinion about the entire situation. She just stuck by me like any true best friend would do. Anna was the definition of loyalty. I've never met anyone else who could even come close to the amount of loyalty that Anna showed her friends. I think part of what is so hard right now is that I always knew that she would be there and that I could always count on her. But now if I need her, she isn't there and I can't wrap my mind around that fact just yet.

Then there was my wedding. I threw my wedding together in a time period of about one month. It was a small ceremony, and it was done as simply as we possibly could. Anna was my maid of honor - a job that usually means she would throw me a wedding shower and a bachelorette party. I told her that I didn't want or need either of these two things. This was supposed to be a simple day and I didn't want to do anything that would make it more complicated for anyone. In the end, timing simply didn't allow for a bachelorette party, but Anna insisted on a wedding shower. I protested, and she protested back. She always was stubborn and there was no arguing with her this time, so I caved. She ended up throwing me a shower a day before my wedding, and it was a beautiful shower. She went way beyond anything that I would have expected her to do, but the ridiculous thing is that I don't know why I didn't expect it. Because once again, this was just the kind of thing that Anna did. She went out of her way to show her friends how much she loved them.

I'm saddened to say that I truly think she was a better friend to me than I was to her. I have never been good about keeping in touch with people. Its a flaw that I know I have. I don't even know how many times I had cheerful voice mails from Anna and then I forgot to call her back. Or how many times I would think "I need to send Anna an email" but then put it off for days, because I was feeling too lazy to sit down and write. In the back of my mind, I just always thought she would always be there. I always thought "I'll just email her later" or "Crap I forgot to call her back, but its ok, I'll just call her back tomorrow". It just never crossed my mind that one day, tomorrow wouldn't be there anymore.

I also put off going to see her several times because plane tickets were too expensive. I've been wanting to take a trip back to North Carolina for about 3 years now, but there's always a reason why I can't...usually its the cost of airfare. But looking back now, I should have gone anyway. In the end, its just money. But because I wanted to save money, the last time I saw my wonderful Anna was at my wedding - almost 3 years ago. If I could go back in time I would buy 10 plane tickets, regardless of the cost, just so I could go see my friend one more time. Her 30th birthday was this past February, and once again, I missed my chance to see her. Her husband threw her a magnificent party. It was a home petting zoo party, and if you know Anna, you know how well this fits her personality. Her compassion and caring was equally divided between humans and animals. In fact...she's the one who gave me my first cat (not counting my "first" cat who ultimately became my dad's cat). When a scrawny, undernourished, sick cat showed up at the dumpster at her apartment complex she, of course, fed it. She moved into the house we rented together a few days after finding this cat and I will never forget her walking in the door that day. She had the ugliest, scrawniest, howling at the top of her lungs, cat in her arms. And she said to me as cheerful as ever "Look Brooklet! I found a cat!" (and as a side note, she's the one who gave me the nickname Brooklet) I wasn't even a true cat person at the time, but as we all know now...that was the beginning of my decline into crazy cat lady land. Back to her party though... by the time I knew of the party, airfare had climbed pretty high. I wanted to be there more than ever, but I told myself that it was ok. I could see her any other time. Little did I know at the time that that would be my last chance to see her.

All I can hope for now is that she knows how much I loved her and how much I valued our friendship. I hope she knows that she was such an important piece of my life and that I truly wouldn't be who I am today, if it hadn't been for her. I have so many regrets, and I hope she knows that my laziness in keeping in touch with her, and my fear of spending too much money, had nothing at all to do with her. I hate that I had to learn my lesson this way, but if I could go back in time, I'd buy those plane tickets without even flinching at the cost. I'd send her more emails and call her more often. I'd make every effort that I possibly could to let her know how much she means to me. Sadly, all I can do now is to simply honor her memory and treasure the memories that I have of her forever. So to anyone who is reading this - please treasure your friends and family. Hug them daily and let them know how much they mean to you. Don't make excuses to put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Life is simply too short and tomorrow may not always be there.

I was looking through some old college pictures today and I came across this one from our sophomore year. Not only is Anna wearing her signature smile, but the angel wings made me burst into tears all over again. If anyone in this world deserves to be an angel...its Anna.

Meow Monday

Back in January, we went on a 5 day trip to Victoria, British Columbia. Our cat, Moe, has asthma, and he requires a twice daily preventative inhaler. We had a friend come to feed and check on the other cats while we were gone, but I didn't want to ask someone to come over twice a day just to give a cat an inhaler. Instead I wanted to board him at our vet. However, Mr. V decided that it would be cheaper and easier to just bring him along with us (and he also admitted that he misses the cats when he's away from them). Needless to say, Moe became our first cat to become an international traveler. So if anyone wants to know who the real crazy cat person in this house is...don't point to me!

Here's Moe hanging out in our hotel room:

Mil-Spouse Friday-Fill in #36

I realize I'm missing 3 Friday Fill-Ins, but since its unlikely that I'll ever be able to catch up completely before the next installment comes out in a week, I figured I'd just answer this week's questions and catch up on the missing ones as time allows...

1. What romance movie scene reminds you of your s/o or spouse and the LOVE you share? submitted by Simply Sunshine and Daisy’s

Umm...honestly? I have no idea...I'm running through movie clips in my mind right now and I can't come up with one that reminds me of me and Mr. V. I tend to think that romance movies, while good, are also really fake, so maybe thats my problem here. I'll have to get back to you on this one.

2. If you were allowed to deploy with your husband to a war zone would you and why? submitted by I & J

Yep..and we've had several conversations about this already. He claims he "wouldn't let me" go to a war zone with him, but the truth is, I was given an opportunity to teach in Iraq before I even met Mr. V. I turned it down at the time, but I do think its something that would be really interesting to do. Plus, I think it would be really interesting to see parts of the world that the average person doesn't get to see. I don't know if I would want to live out in town in a war zone, but I think I would at least feel halfway "safe" if I was on a guarded military base. (the teaching job was out in town, but I would have been escorted by armed guards to work every day)

3. Have you ever done anything (intentionally, or unintentionally) to embarrass your spouse/significant other in front of his military cohorts? submitted by Marrying the Navy

Intentionally? Definitely not. Thats just cruel and unnecessary. Unintentionally? I sure hope not...although I did recently sit at a table with his CO and the CO's wife, while talking about the figure skating competition that Mr. V and I just went to. The CO's wife said to her husband, "See? HER husband will go to a figure skating competition with her." At that point I realized that perhaps I shouldn't have told his CO that he even somewhat enjoyed the competition. However, I'm going to say that it doesn't count because Mr. V wasn't there, so technically, it wasn't in front of him :-).

4. What is your most irrational fear? submitted by Eights on the Move

I've only recently figured out what my most irrational fear is. I'm afraid of falling, but I don't think thats necessarily irrational. I'm also terrified of bees, but since I've only been stung once in my life, by a wasp, and never a bee, I also don't find that completely irrational. The wasp sting HURT like you wouldn't believe (or maybe you would believe it) and on top of that I suffer from tons of allergies that have gotten worse as I get older. So aside from the fear of the pain of a bee sting, I'm also afraid that I'm going to be deathly allergic to bee stings, and die within minute of getting stung. So maybe thats slightly irrational, but I don't think its completely irrational.

As for completely irrational, I'm afraid of wide open spaces, and I really just figured this out. I know there's a name for this fear, but I can't remember it offhand. Mr.V and I have gone on several day and weekend trips around here and I've realized that when I'm standing on a beach that has no one on it, and its HUGE and you can't see or hear any sign of life outside of the beach, it makes me feel panicked. (I'm talking about 2nd Beach in La Push in case anyone wants to know which beach freaked me out.) I also felt panicked driving through Wyoming when we moved out here, because there was just nothing around. Same with the Canadian Rockies, near the Athabasca Glacier. There are just mountains, and fields of snow, and NOTHING else around, and it just panics me! I honestly have no idea why, but its a feeling I don't like, and I do realize thats its completely irrational.

5. If you could only live in one kind of climate for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? submitted by Many Waters

I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but I think I'd choose Western Washington...but without the rain, gray skies and clouds. I do like having 4 distinct seasons, but moving around so much has taught me which types of weather I can and can't physically handle. Hot weather, while occasionally nice, really takes its toll on me. I've always been very sensitive to hot weather to the point where even 90 degrees makes me feel like I'm going to pass out. Cold weather, is just cold and uncomfortable, so I think I could happily live somewhere where the temperature is typically between 50 and 70 degrees year round, with the occasional really cold day or really hot day mixed in there. And honestly? Western Washington has that climate. But I hate the rain and the dreariness and the 3pm sunsets in winter. So ideally, I would live somewhere where the weather stays between 50 and 70 degrees on most days, it only rains 2 or 3 times a month, and the sun sets no earlier than 5pm (but preferably much later than that) every day.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #32

This is going back a few weeks, but in an attempt to finally catch up on things, here are my answers to the 32nd installment of the Friday-In (on a Tuesday night):


1. Do you or your {spouse} ever wish your {spouse} was in a different branch of the military? submitted by The Turner Family

Nope. To be honest, I haven't given it much thought. Mr. V just seems like a Navy guy. I honestly couldn't even picture him in another branch. Personally, I like the Navy because the deployments tend to be shorter than Army deployments. Plus, I don't know much about life in the Air Force, Marines or Coast Guard...so I'm content with the Navy for the time being.

2. What duty station(s) are on your “No Way, Hell No, Not Going, Have Fun Unaccompanied” list and why? submitted by Every Branch

Corpus Christi, Texas....oh but wait....that's where we are headed next. I did throw a nice little adult temper tantrum when I found out we were heading back there, but at the same time, I really have no intention of staying behind. Plus, its a city that I already know, so while I don't particularly like it there, at least it won't be something horribly new and drastic.

I'd like to say that I would follow Mr. V anywhere, but when he was in the process of choosing his next set of orders, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba came up as an option and was promptly dismissed as an option. Thankfully, Mr. V knew that there was no way in hell I was going to go to Cuba with him. Living on a secluded piece of island, next to a high security prison, in a country that I can't even visit while I'm there, gets a big "Hell no!" from me. Thankfully, the option was there, but wasn't a good career move and it was just mentioned to him in the off chance that he might want orders there. It was never really considered in the final order choosing process.

I can't really think of anywhere other than Cuba that I would flat out refuse to go to, though I can think of MANY places that I wouldn't move to willingly.

3. If you could be one age forever, what age would you choose and why? submitted by Three Krakens

I don't really know. So far every age has had its pros and cons, so I can't say that I would want to stay at one age forever. I did enjoy my 21st year though. At least thats the age that is popping into my head as I ponder this question. So I guess if it was possible to stay in college forever - with minimal life responsibilities, but also the freedom of being an adult - I would choose that.

4. If you were a breakfast cereal, which one would you be? submitted by the C.W.

Frosted Cheerios - something good for you, with a touch of rebellion AND sweetness in the sugar frosting

5. What is your morning beverage of choice and why? submitted by NH Girl Displaced

It used to be water, but then I moved to Washington - the land of coffee stands on every single corner and a Starbucks in every shopping center. I drank coffee occasionally before moving here, but the endless darkness, rain and general dreary-ness in the winter time made me quickly realize why this state is addicted to their caffeine. I now require some type of caffeine before I can even begin to function for the day. Its going to be a shock to my system when I can't find a drive through coffee stand (or several of them) on every single road in Corpus Christi.

Meow Monday

I'm going to attempt to use this week to catch up on all the Friday Fill-Ins I've missed, and to finally talk about some of the adventures we've had over the past few months. But for now, I've decided to turn Monday's into "Meow Mondays". I have a new camera that I'm still in the process of mastering, so the cats have been my unwilling practice subjects for the past few weeks.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #30 and #31

Head over to Wife of a Sailor for the latest Friday Fill-In!

I missed last week's Fill-in so here's two weeks of my answers:

Friday Fill-In#30

1. What is your favorite MilSpouse blog (not including Wife of a Sailor who we all love, or your own)? submitted by Our Crazy Life

I don't know that I have a favorite one. I enjoy reading about everyone's different perspectives, thoughts and feelings about military life. Some of the military spouse blogs that I follow are linked on the side bar on my blog. I follow others too that I haven't gotten around to putting up there yet. There's definitely something about each of them that I like so I don't know if I could pick just one.

2. What are your favorite perks about your s/o being deployed (we all know there are perks)? submitted by Ramblings of a Marine Wife

I like that I can do what I want when he's gone. Not in a "he controls me when he's here" kind of way, but when he's home, I definitely make more compromises regarding everything. From the TV, to day trips, vacations, work around the house, etc....its all done on a 2 person basis. When he's gone, I can watch whatever TV show I want to watch. I can clean the house on my schedule without worrying that he's going to think that I'm a slob or lazy (he's never actually called me a slob or lazy, but I do feel motivated by my desire to not have the house looking like crap for him when he's home). I can do things that he has no interest in doing, instead of dragging him along with me with the knowledge that I AM dragging him along with me. I guess its a sense of freedom and the fact that I don't have to compromise with anyone when he's not here. Life at home becomes about me and me only, and I enjoy the fact that I have several months to be completely selfish :-).

3. How long did you date your before getting engaged? Married? submitted by Utterly Chaotic

To be honest, I don't know what day we officially started dating. But we were dating for about 6 months before getting engaged, and we were married 8 months after that.

4. What do you think your SO would do if s/he wasn’t in the military? submitted by Adventures of M-Squared

He'd be doing some kind of aerospace engineering thing. He's mentioned that he wouldn't mind working for Boeing or Lockheed-Martin in the future.

5. If you could talk to the Secretary of (fill in your appropriate branch) what is one suggestion you would like to bring to their attention in order to improve the lives of military families? submitted by My Life as His (Air Force) Wife

That's a tough one because there is a lot about this lifestyle that I don't particularly like. Since this question is going directly to the Secretary of the Navy though, maybe to make tours for officers a little longer. I know that there are a few select jobs that will stay in one place for a long time, but the general rotation of an aviation officer is 3 years on sea duty, 3 years on shore duty, then repeat - for 20 years. I don't think I would mind the moving so much if I could feel like I could actually settle into a place for a while. Maybe a 5 year tour would be better. I feel like we just got to Washington, but in 5 months we're going to pack up and move again. I don't like the feeling of being unsettled, so I don't think I would mind the uprooting so much, if it was done less often.


Friday Fill-In #31

1. Aside from no deployments, what is one thing you would want to make the MilSpouse life “perfect”? submitted by Oh How Delightful

As a continuation of my last answer from the last fill-in, I would want to move less. I do like the idea of "seeing the world" so moving in general isn't the problem for me. Its the constant moving that I don't like. I want to stay in one place long enough to feel settled there. At the rate we move, I'm starting to forget how to answer the question of "Where are you from" because no place feels like home anymore.

2. Just how many peppers did Peter Piper pick? submitted by Married into Army

This definitely deserves some kind of witty answer, but I'm not a very witty person. So the simple answer is "a pack". At least if I'm remembering the tongue twister correctly. Isn't it "Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers"?

3. If you could have any career in the world with nothing holding you back, what would you do? submitted by It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To

I think I've answered a question like this before, but I'm not sure where my answer is to link back to it. I'd be a Civil War historian, and work on a Civil War battlefield. If I wanted to put both of my degrees to work, then I'd produce a Civil War documentary for the History Channel.

4. Do you have a service oriented tattoo and if so what is it. If you don’t what would you get? submitted by The Squid’s Accomplice

I have no tattoos at all. Although, I do want one. I won't get a service related one though. As much as I love Mr. V, the Navy is about him, not me. I honestly don't think it would even cross my mind to get a service related one. Instead, I'm trying to work up the nerve to get a small cat's paw print tattooed somewhere on me.

5. Imagine a block of time has opened up in your busy day for you to take a class in anything you like. What subject would you choose? submitted by To The Nth

Something history related. Preferably history of the American South related, because I'm basically a huge history nerd and would have fun taking more classes related to my degree. On a non-nerd level, and more on a crazy old cat lady level, I'd take more craft classes - mainly more quilting and sewing classes.