So backing up a few months again (maybe one day I'll be able to keep this updated as things actually happen instead of posting about things 2 months after they happen), I had my final battle wih Murphy's Law...at least my final battle until Mr. V deploys again. A 7 month deployment isn't so bad right? Some military wives have to endure 15 month deployments so I figured that while it would suck, I could easily handle a 7 month deployment. Well...I handled it, but not without wanting to shoot myself, or shoot Murphy.
Just when I thought that it couldn't get any worse, it did. You would have thought that by this point I would know to never think "it can't get any worse!" Well, about 2 weeks before Mr. V came home, one of my cats got really, really sick. This wasn't just any cat either. This was Moses, my "replacement" cat for the one that I lost to leukemia 2 years ago. While I know that he could never completely replace the one that I lost, he still means so much to me because he filled the hole in my heart when little Cledus died. So out of all of my cats, this was the 2nd worst one that it could happen to (the first being my original Wendy :-)). I woke up one day and noticed that he seemed a little lethargic. This was weird, but since they sleep almost all day anyway I just waited to see what happened later on that day. That evening when I fed them all, Moses didn't come running to the food. This was odd, very odd. He always comes running when he hears the food. I searched him out and found him sleeping on my bed. I picked him up and brought him to the food where he proceeded to fall asleep with his head in the food bowl. Thats when I realized that some was REALLY wrong. I was actually talking to Mr. V online at the time so I told him I was going to take Moses to the emergency vet. I called a friend of mine who is a vet tech, and she offered to go with me. The Pet Emergency Center is 45 minutes away so I welcomed the company.
It turned out that Moses had a common problem in male cats - he had crystals in his urine, which had caused a blockage, and he needed to have his bladder drained. This was bad, but curable. The only problem was that Moses was acting completely fine until the day I noticed that something was wrong. By that point he had progressed to a stage where the problem was more severe. He stayed overnight at the PEC, and then was brought to the local vet in the morning where he spent another week. An ultrasound showed that not only did he have crystals, but he also had bladder stones, so emergency bladder surgery was preformed. During the surgery, they found urine in his abdomen, which indicated that he had a tear in his urethra. This was bad, very bad, because if that tear didn't heal, there was no chance of him surviving. There was just no way. He also had kidney levels that were off the charts and a horrible bladder infection which I guess goes without saying.
At that point the vet called me and told me that he had less than a 1% chance of survival and asked if I wanted to have him euthanized right then, since he was already out under anesthesia. Well I panicked. I freaked out. I could barely even process what she had told me because I thought that crystals were a routine problem! I never even dreamed that it could be as bad as it was! I told her no, I didn't want him put to sleep yet. I had to talk to my husband. I had to process everything she just told me and I was babysitting at the time which meant that I couldn't even be there to say goodbye to him. He wasn't even guaranteed to live past the few hours it took for me to finally get everything straightened out. But...thankfully, I DID say no. And thankfully, the vet that had taken his case was a vet who specialized in critical care. She personally didn't have the ability/knowledge to save him, but I am so thankful that she called a specialist and read some case studies. In the time it took for me to track down Mr. V in Iraq and for the lady I was babysitting for to come home, she had increased his chances of survival to 20%. I am so thankful for a good friend of mine who dropped everything she was doing to come to the vet with me at this point. I didn't know what was going to happen and I didn't want to be alone.
At this point the vet told me his chances of survival had increased but he was far, far away from being out of the woods yet. I didn't want to have him put to sleep when I wasn't there to say goodbye earlier, but I also didn't want him to suffer, so I asked her to tell me the truth and if she thought that I just needed to have it done. She said that while things were still really, really bad, she didn't think it was time to give up hope yet. That was all it took for me to say "do whatever needs to be done."
So to make a long story short, after a week in the hospital hooked up to a catheter and IVs, his urethra tear healed. His bladder cleared up and the crystals disappeared. Unfortunately, he now had a nasty infection to fight off. Between his kidneys and his bladder he was a mess. Once the urethra tear healed (which in itself is apparently something close to a miracle!), his biggest problem was the infection. If it didn't go away, it would kill him.. 2 months, 4 rounds of antibiotics and several thousands of dollars later, I took Moses in for his final checkup. That was 2 weeks ago. He recovered like a champ!! He's truly my miracle cat and I am so thankful that I said no when they asked if I wanted him euthanized right then and there. I am also so thankful for the vet who took the time to really research his case and to go out of her way to help him. Moses will have to eat a prescription food for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, due to the severity of what happened to him, I was told that he isn't likely to survive this if it happens again. Thankfully, the food should prevent it from happening again. As much as I wanted to deny that he was really sick, I also have to admit that I wasn't sure that this day would come. Each re-check that he had made me so nervous because it took so long to get completely good news. But the last one was good. My Moses is a fighter and hopefully he'll be around for many, many more years :-).
So let's recap:
In the 7 months that Mr. V was gone:
~A shelf fell down in the closet. And of course it was the type of shelf that can't just be replaced easily, it needs to be reinstalled. Needless to say, the closet held all of Mr. V's clothes so I decided to completely ignore that one until he got home.
~Our lawnmower didn't work, which led to 2 foot high grass (call me stupid but I wouldn't even begin to know how to buy a lawnmower), so finally a neighbor took pity on me and mowed half of my front lawn. He sent his son over to mow the rest, and a friend's husband spent 3 days untangling the jungle in my backyard. Needless to say, this was the perfect time for Washington to have a drought. I know a lot of people were freaking out about the lack of rain. But for me, that meant dead grass. Dead grass doesn't grow so after the neighbor and the friend's husband took pity on me, my lawn stayed dead until about a month ago. Thankfully, Mr. V is now home to deal with it.
~I had one cat peeing all over the house, but with 9 it was impossible to figure out which one it was. Feliway diffusers are a great invention. They give off pheromones that are supposed to calm cats down. I already had 2 plugged in, but I resorted to plugging one in in every single room of the house. Thankfully, that seemed to work. It turns out that I found the cat doing the damage and he apparently suffers from separation anxiety and wasn't ok with Mr. V being gone. I can't WAIT to deal with that again!
~The system failure light came on in my car, followed by the maintenance required light. My car wasn't scheduled for any maintenance so this was confusing. 2 months later my car battery died as I was getting onto a ferry. It didn't just run out and need to be jump started. It died. Thankfully, the ferry workers were able to get it started to at least get me back home. I still have no idea if thats why my maintenance required light came on, but I do know that your battery dying right as the ferry is starting to load, isn't a good thing.
~Our dishwasher died. I don't think I need to explain the annoyance about that! I didn't get a new one until Mr. V came home because to save money, he wanted to be the one to install it. So I spent 6 months washing dishes by hand. I realize this isn't an extreme tragedy, but I hate washing dishes, so this really sucked for me.
~My dryer started making a screeching sound but it appeared that it was going to hold out for me. Then 3 weeks before Mr. V came home, it died. Not a huge deal right? I can line dry things. However, try line drying something in a state like Washington. Even hanging in my garage, which is dry, my clothes wouldn't dry because of all the humidity and moisture in the air. Then after Mr. V came home and we bought a new one, it wasn't delivered to us until 3 weeks later (all of their dryers were out of stock). Towels and jeans get awfully crunchy when you can't dry them in a dryer or hang them in the nice spring air!
~The cat that I was babysitting for a friend of mine for the length of the deployment developed a hernia.
~I started driving Mr. V's car because by the time my battery died I felt so drained that I just didn't want to deal with it. I decided to drive his car until he came home only to have it start making an obnoxious clanking sound underneath it. When I took it to a mechanic he informed me that I was absolutely NOT going to drive out of his parking lot without a complete set of new tires because apparently the tires that I had were so worn that they were dangerous. When I told Mr. V this he said "Oh yeah, I've known since Jacksonville that I needed new tires." Thanks Mr. V! By that point we had only been out of Jacksonville for a YEAR!! That would have been helpful to know. Needless to say, I got new tires, but the source of the clanking sound was never found. Amazingly, once Mr. V came home, the sound disappeared. Grrrr.
~2 lights burnt out in the living room. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but these lights are the ONLY lights in the house that aren't standard sized. When we first moved here it took Mr. V 2 months to finally find the correct size light bulb. It took me a few tries too.
~The hose broke. I didn't even know that could happen, but apparently a hose left in the heat can form bubbles that create a thin spot, which creates a pinprick sized hole. Several of these pin prick holes make for a useless hose. This is a big deal when I need to hose out and scrub down litter boxes once a week. Thankfully, buying a new hose is an easy task.
~Our sink clogged and it took hours and lots and lots of draino to unclog it. It took a lot of self control to not throw up while that was going on. Its also hard to prevent cats from drinking the standing water, but I wasn't about to deal with draino poisoning. I think that was the night that I finally broke down and cried my eyes out.
~We got termites. I don't think I need to explain why thats a bad thing!
~And finally, there was Moses.
I can't wait to see what goes wrong the next time he deploys!
Edited to add: My grandma also died. I don't even know how I managed to forget that when I was writing this.
Showing posts with label deployment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deployment. Show all posts
Monday, January 25, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
Homecoming!
As my good friend Alice pointed out to me this morning, its been a REALLY long time since I updated this blog. Life has been pretty hectic lately, but its finally hectic in a good way.
After 7 months of things breaking and going wrong, while I suffered through the wrath of Murphy by myself, Mr. V is FINALLY home from Iraq!!! He actually got home at the beginning of the month and life has been a whirlwind since then.
After his return date and time changing several times, homecoming ended up being wonderful. I had all these plans to decorate the house and have "Welcome Home" signs hung up for him, but I'm sad to say that didn't happen. He was originally supposed to arrive home on a Thursday morning. Then it chanegd to Wednesday at 8:30pm. I babysat on Wednesday morning and assumed that I had several hours after I got home to decorate the house, but nope! That morning, while I was babysitting I got several phone calls from the CO's wife. The first one changed his arrival time to 6:30pm. The next one changed it to 5:00pm. The finally one changed it to 4:30pm. At this point I realized that by the time I was done babysitting I had just enough time to take a shower and rush off to the hanger where his plane would be arriving. I had just enough time to throw a wooden P3 with his name and squadron on it, that I bought at a recent OSCWI boutique, on a nail on the outside of our house. Flags and "Welcome Home" signs will have to be stored to use after the next deployment.
So after a quick shower, some primping and some panic because he hadn't seen me in 7 months, I rushed out of the house. Halfway to base I realized I wasn't wearing my wedding rings (I take them off when I shower) so I had to turn around and race back home because I wasn't about to great my husband after 7 months, with no wedding rings on my finger.
Homecoming was great! The only thing that sucked was that even though the plane arrived at 4:30, it was already completely dark outside. It would have been nice to get some nicer pictures of the plane he arrived on, and everyone walking off the plane, and some nicer outdoor pictures, but I have to just be happy with the nighttime pictures that I got.
(Opening the hanger doors)
(the plane they arrived home on)
(He's back!)
(he gave me some chocolate that he bought in Germany because it had cute kittens on the box)
(I loved my box of kitten chocolate :-))
After 7 months of things breaking and going wrong, while I suffered through the wrath of Murphy by myself, Mr. V is FINALLY home from Iraq!!! He actually got home at the beginning of the month and life has been a whirlwind since then.
After his return date and time changing several times, homecoming ended up being wonderful. I had all these plans to decorate the house and have "Welcome Home" signs hung up for him, but I'm sad to say that didn't happen. He was originally supposed to arrive home on a Thursday morning. Then it chanegd to Wednesday at 8:30pm. I babysat on Wednesday morning and assumed that I had several hours after I got home to decorate the house, but nope! That morning, while I was babysitting I got several phone calls from the CO's wife. The first one changed his arrival time to 6:30pm. The next one changed it to 5:00pm. The finally one changed it to 4:30pm. At this point I realized that by the time I was done babysitting I had just enough time to take a shower and rush off to the hanger where his plane would be arriving. I had just enough time to throw a wooden P3 with his name and squadron on it, that I bought at a recent OSCWI boutique, on a nail on the outside of our house. Flags and "Welcome Home" signs will have to be stored to use after the next deployment.
So after a quick shower, some primping and some panic because he hadn't seen me in 7 months, I rushed out of the house. Halfway to base I realized I wasn't wearing my wedding rings (I take them off when I shower) so I had to turn around and race back home because I wasn't about to great my husband after 7 months, with no wedding rings on my finger.
Homecoming was great! The only thing that sucked was that even though the plane arrived at 4:30, it was already completely dark outside. It would have been nice to get some nicer pictures of the plane he arrived on, and everyone walking off the plane, and some nicer outdoor pictures, but I have to just be happy with the nighttime pictures that I got.
(Opening the hanger doors)
(the plane they arrived home on)
(He's back!)
(he gave me some chocolate that he bought in Germany because it had cute kittens on the box)
(I loved my box of kitten chocolate :-))
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Halfway There!
Last night was our Officer Spouse's Club "Over the Hump" party. To be honest, I've been avoiding doing things with the OSC lately for a variety of reasons, but a huge one being that I'm just sick and tired of dealing with the Navy and this deployment. When my friend was here visiting, it was wonderful because for the first time in a long time I didn't have to eat, sleep and breathe Navy. However, I pulled myself out of my bad mood and put the bad attitude aside for the evening and surprisingly, I had a lot of fun!
I will admit that the main reason I decided to go, wasn't to have fun (although, I had hoped that I would have fun). Apparently, its tradition here that other squadrons (our "sister" squadrons), pool a lot of money from their own OSCs to throw an Over the Hump party for whichever squadron is deployed. And by pooling money, I mean that each squadron donates $200-$300 to the party, which makes a pretty large chunk of cash when you add it all up. Since every OSC event I have been to in the past involved eating dinner at someone's house, I couldn't imagine what kind of party they would throw with all of that money. We knew that the theme of the party was "The Amazing Race", but that was all we knew. The ladies putting the whole thing together kept everything a secret until we arrived last night.
Once we arrived we were greeted with drinks (including bottled water with special labels printed up with the squadron name and "Over the Hump" on them. I'm telling you, they really went all out for this.), and we were divided into teams of 4-5. We had to draw numbers from a bag and whatever number we had was the team we were on. I lucked out and got to be on a team with one of my good friends, which made me happy :-). Our first task was to decipher a clue that told us which car we had to get into. Once we figured out the the letters and numbers were a scrambled license plate number, we found our car, and hopped in. One of the ladies from one of the other squadrons was our driver, and another lady came along to take pictures of us as proof that we completed our tasks.
Our first stop (which was REALLY hard to figure out - they put a lot of time and thought into these clues) was at a local building, that looks like a log cabin, with several companies inside of it. We were given cowboy hats (the kind little kids wear) and bandanas, told to put them on, stand in front of the building for a picture, and then we were off again. The next hour or so consisted of us running in and out of Walmart, Safeway, and some sketchy local bars, doing a Chinese fire drill, making a crayon rubbing of a manhole and begging every single person we ran into for a blue rubber band. Basically, we had 2 tasks. The first was to answer a bunch of questions that were given to us. Some were easy (What is the follow on plane for the P3 called? P8), and some were pretty hard (Whats the capital of Qatar and Djibouti? For the record, I didn't even know how to spell Djibouti. And if you're interested, the capital is simply...Djibouti. Maybe that should have been an easy question.) Our second task was a scavenger hunt where we had to do certain things and find certain things. Now somewhere out there, someone in another squadron has a video of us doing the Can-Can on the corner of the 2 main streets in town.
We had a lot of fun though. The people in Walmart and Safeway seemed to think we were slightly insane. We came in with our cowboy hats and bandanas, but we didn't realize until we ran into another team, that everyone had different costumes. One team was in hula skirts, leis and coconut bras. Another had a shiny pink cape and mask. The third team had princess tiaras, cheap plastic clip on diamond earrings and feather boas. And the final team had pimp hats, a money necklace, and a blacked out tooth. I'm sure the locals were highly amused by us all.
Some things we learned from the night:
~Oak Harbor has some VERY sketchy bars. One task was to go into a certain bar, where a shot had already been paid for, and one person on the team had to drink the shot. We got to the bar at the same time as another team, and while the bartender was getting the drinks, and someone was explaining that we were on a scavenger hunt, a creepy man told us that we should each sit on his lap, take a picture and send it to our husbands. Right.
~Safeway gives out free cookies at the bakery. Getting one of those cookies was one of the tasks.
~Safeway also sells buffalo meat (take a picture of a bison was on the list).
~For anyone wondering where to find a picture of a bison if you didn't take a picture of the meat, there is apparently a bison statue in Ft. Nugent park.
~You can drive over part of the lawn and curb of the base CO's house, without ruining your husband's career, although I don't recommend doing this. (Take a picture of a COW aka Commanding Officer's Wife house was on the list, and this particular COW just had her house decorated with cows the night before.) We weren't the only group who knew this though, so while we were there taking a picture, another group arrived, and proceeded to block us into the driveway to prevent us from getting ahead. While one of our team members talked to the CO and his wife to get answers to some of our questions (How many squadrons are here on Whidbey?), our driver proceeded to play chicken with the other driver, until the opposing team moved out of the way just enough so we could squeeze around them, by driving over the lawn and curb. Thankfully, these people had a sense of humor (and it probably helped that our CO's wife was on that opposing team).
~You can also steal on base without ruining your husband's career, although I also don't recommend doing this. Get a copy of the Navigator, the base newspaper, was one thing we had to do. Instead of going into the commissary or NEX, we simply stole one from someone's driveway. We did have a short discussion about whether or not stealing the newspaper and driving over the CO's lawn would be career killers (we decided we didn't care - sorry Mr. V). However, we did send out the wife of the highest ranking guy to be the thief. We figured that her husband was the least likely to get in trouble.
~People in foreign countries eat some really disgusting food. Our dinner was also Amazing Race themed so we had food from all over the world, and I have to be honest and say that most of it was pretty disgusting. I'm a picky eater though, so I'm sure some people loved it. Dessert was great though. Tiramisu that was swimming in alcohol, and some banana coconut thing that was delicious. We were all very happy when we were presented with gift bags (and by gift bag, I mean a canvas bag with the squadron logo sewed onto it, a nice little sentiment written to the wives, and our first initial in rhinestones - did I mention they really went all out for this party?) full of candy from around the world, and a recipe book with the recipes for everything we ate. I'll have to attempt to make the desserts one of these days.
So all in all it was a fun night. Deployment is now MORE than halfway over, and we've all survived so far so things are looking good :-).
I will admit that the main reason I decided to go, wasn't to have fun (although, I had hoped that I would have fun). Apparently, its tradition here that other squadrons (our "sister" squadrons), pool a lot of money from their own OSCs to throw an Over the Hump party for whichever squadron is deployed. And by pooling money, I mean that each squadron donates $200-$300 to the party, which makes a pretty large chunk of cash when you add it all up. Since every OSC event I have been to in the past involved eating dinner at someone's house, I couldn't imagine what kind of party they would throw with all of that money. We knew that the theme of the party was "The Amazing Race", but that was all we knew. The ladies putting the whole thing together kept everything a secret until we arrived last night.
Once we arrived we were greeted with drinks (including bottled water with special labels printed up with the squadron name and "Over the Hump" on them. I'm telling you, they really went all out for this.), and we were divided into teams of 4-5. We had to draw numbers from a bag and whatever number we had was the team we were on. I lucked out and got to be on a team with one of my good friends, which made me happy :-). Our first task was to decipher a clue that told us which car we had to get into. Once we figured out the the letters and numbers were a scrambled license plate number, we found our car, and hopped in. One of the ladies from one of the other squadrons was our driver, and another lady came along to take pictures of us as proof that we completed our tasks.
Our first stop (which was REALLY hard to figure out - they put a lot of time and thought into these clues) was at a local building, that looks like a log cabin, with several companies inside of it. We were given cowboy hats (the kind little kids wear) and bandanas, told to put them on, stand in front of the building for a picture, and then we were off again. The next hour or so consisted of us running in and out of Walmart, Safeway, and some sketchy local bars, doing a Chinese fire drill, making a crayon rubbing of a manhole and begging every single person we ran into for a blue rubber band. Basically, we had 2 tasks. The first was to answer a bunch of questions that were given to us. Some were easy (What is the follow on plane for the P3 called? P8), and some were pretty hard (Whats the capital of Qatar and Djibouti? For the record, I didn't even know how to spell Djibouti. And if you're interested, the capital is simply...Djibouti. Maybe that should have been an easy question.) Our second task was a scavenger hunt where we had to do certain things and find certain things. Now somewhere out there, someone in another squadron has a video of us doing the Can-Can on the corner of the 2 main streets in town.
We had a lot of fun though. The people in Walmart and Safeway seemed to think we were slightly insane. We came in with our cowboy hats and bandanas, but we didn't realize until we ran into another team, that everyone had different costumes. One team was in hula skirts, leis and coconut bras. Another had a shiny pink cape and mask. The third team had princess tiaras, cheap plastic clip on diamond earrings and feather boas. And the final team had pimp hats, a money necklace, and a blacked out tooth. I'm sure the locals were highly amused by us all.
Some things we learned from the night:
~Oak Harbor has some VERY sketchy bars. One task was to go into a certain bar, where a shot had already been paid for, and one person on the team had to drink the shot. We got to the bar at the same time as another team, and while the bartender was getting the drinks, and someone was explaining that we were on a scavenger hunt, a creepy man told us that we should each sit on his lap, take a picture and send it to our husbands. Right.
~Safeway gives out free cookies at the bakery. Getting one of those cookies was one of the tasks.
~Safeway also sells buffalo meat (take a picture of a bison was on the list).
~For anyone wondering where to find a picture of a bison if you didn't take a picture of the meat, there is apparently a bison statue in Ft. Nugent park.
~You can drive over part of the lawn and curb of the base CO's house, without ruining your husband's career, although I don't recommend doing this. (Take a picture of a COW aka Commanding Officer's Wife house was on the list, and this particular COW just had her house decorated with cows the night before.) We weren't the only group who knew this though, so while we were there taking a picture, another group arrived, and proceeded to block us into the driveway to prevent us from getting ahead. While one of our team members talked to the CO and his wife to get answers to some of our questions (How many squadrons are here on Whidbey?), our driver proceeded to play chicken with the other driver, until the opposing team moved out of the way just enough so we could squeeze around them, by driving over the lawn and curb. Thankfully, these people had a sense of humor (and it probably helped that our CO's wife was on that opposing team).
~You can also steal on base without ruining your husband's career, although I also don't recommend doing this. Get a copy of the Navigator, the base newspaper, was one thing we had to do. Instead of going into the commissary or NEX, we simply stole one from someone's driveway. We did have a short discussion about whether or not stealing the newspaper and driving over the CO's lawn would be career killers (we decided we didn't care - sorry Mr. V). However, we did send out the wife of the highest ranking guy to be the thief. We figured that her husband was the least likely to get in trouble.
~People in foreign countries eat some really disgusting food. Our dinner was also Amazing Race themed so we had food from all over the world, and I have to be honest and say that most of it was pretty disgusting. I'm a picky eater though, so I'm sure some people loved it. Dessert was great though. Tiramisu that was swimming in alcohol, and some banana coconut thing that was delicious. We were all very happy when we were presented with gift bags (and by gift bag, I mean a canvas bag with the squadron logo sewed onto it, a nice little sentiment written to the wives, and our first initial in rhinestones - did I mention they really went all out for this party?) full of candy from around the world, and a recipe book with the recipes for everything we ate. I'll have to attempt to make the desserts one of these days.
So all in all it was a fun night. Deployment is now MORE than halfway over, and we've all survived so far so things are looking good :-).
Friday, August 21, 2009
I Quit
I've always heard that everything that can possibly go wrong during a deployment will go wrong, but I didn't realize just how true that was until 2 nights ago. I posted a while back about Murphy's law and all the random things going wrong for me, but I just wanted to recap, because I'm ready to quit. Deployment is only half over, so if all of this can go wrong in just 3 months, what can possible happen during the next 3 months?
So far:
~my dishwasher has completely died on me
~my dryer is making a strange screeching sound so I'm assuming thats about to die on me too.
~A shelf fell down in Mr. V's closet about 2 weeks after he left. (In that case, I simply looked at the fallen shelf and calmly closed the closet door for him to deal with when he comes back home.)
~Larry, the kitten I'm babysitting for the length of the deployment developed a hernia almost as soon as his owner deployed. Its not a huge problem right now, but he does need surgery eventually. And I'm supposed to be keeping him inactive until he gets the surgery. If someone knows how to keep a 10 month old kitten inactive, without locking him in a tiny carrier, I'd love to hear how.
~My car battery completely died, but I thought "oh well I'll just drive Mr. V's car until I get a new battery."
~Then Mr V's car started making this weird clanking sound underneath it. His alignment is also off, which I can tell just from driving it, and which he knew about before he left, but he didn't tell me (he may not have known) just how bad it was. So when I took the car in to find out why it was making a clanking sound, the guy simply glanced under the car and told me within 5 seconds that I need new tires because they are worn to a dangerous point - all due to the bad alignment. The mechanic told me flat out that I wasn't driving anywhere in that car until it had new tires on it. So great. Apparently, I was driving around a pretty unsafe car for quite some time.
~When I picked the car up, it feels great because of the new tires, but its still making a clanking sound. However, in the parking lot of the auto place, I can't hear the clanking, and neither could the mechanics, which I guess is why nothing is fixed. Of course the loudest sound I've ever heard the car make just miraculously disappears when I bring it to the mechanic and then reappears 5 minutes down the road after picking up the car.
~Our lawnmower doesn't work, nor do I know how to go shopping for a lawnmower. I feel stupid for not knowing anything about lawnmowers, but the fact is, I really don't have a clue, so I wouldn't even know where to start. Luckily I have a friendly 12 year old next door neighbor who wants $10 from me to cut my lawn. I have happily let him take over the care of my lawn.
~2 lights burned out in our living room. Not a huge deal right? I can change a lightbulb. But for some reason, our house came with standard lightbulbs in every room except the living room. The lights in there are a weird size and when we first moved here, it took Mr. V several days and a few stores to finally find the right sized light to fit in there. Of course, the normal sized bulbs couldn't die, it had to be the ones that are hard to find.
~Our hose broke. Honestly? I didn't even know that hoses could break. But somehow, some spots of the hose got a weird bubble in them, which led to a pinprick-like hole which caused the water to come out of all the tiny holes, instead of the actual nozzle. I need the hose because I have a house full of cats, and I have to scrub and bleach the litter boxes weekly, and use the hose outside to do that. OK fine. I'm capable of buying a new hose, but it just adds to the annoyance of random things breaking.
~My sink was clogged a few nights ago. We have a garbage disposal, and sometimes when I wash dishes (by hand of course since our dishwasher is broken), the water starts to build up because there are pieces of food in the sink. Usually as soon as I turn on the garbage disposal, the water drains right away. But that didn't happen this time. I ended up with both sides of my sink completely clogged with standing water and nasty food particles. I thought I was going to throw up several times. 5 hours, yes 5 hours, after noticing that it was clogged, I finally got it to drain after several attempts at making the garbage disposal work and a trip to the store to buy a plunger and some draino. The plunger did absolutely nothing to help. The draino was specifically for standing water and the directions said to give it 15 minutes to work, but 30 for bad clogs. It took over an hour for each side to finally drain once I poured the draino in (and I did each side at different times).
After the clogged sink, I just lost it. My energy and motivation just completely disappeared. I know that in the grand scheme of things, it was just a clogged sink, but for me it was the last straw in a line of things going wrong. I swear that I have never had this much go wrong on me in so little time.
But here's the best part. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse (which I really need to stop thinking) it did. I discovered 2 nights ago that we have termites. Great. So now I have to get an exterminator, although, maybe if I let the termites eat the house, then we won't have a house anymore, and therefore nothing else can go wrong with the house :-). I think that sounds like a good plan.
So far:
~my dishwasher has completely died on me
~my dryer is making a strange screeching sound so I'm assuming thats about to die on me too.
~A shelf fell down in Mr. V's closet about 2 weeks after he left. (In that case, I simply looked at the fallen shelf and calmly closed the closet door for him to deal with when he comes back home.)
~Larry, the kitten I'm babysitting for the length of the deployment developed a hernia almost as soon as his owner deployed. Its not a huge problem right now, but he does need surgery eventually. And I'm supposed to be keeping him inactive until he gets the surgery. If someone knows how to keep a 10 month old kitten inactive, without locking him in a tiny carrier, I'd love to hear how.
~My car battery completely died, but I thought "oh well I'll just drive Mr. V's car until I get a new battery."
~Then Mr V's car started making this weird clanking sound underneath it. His alignment is also off, which I can tell just from driving it, and which he knew about before he left, but he didn't tell me (he may not have known) just how bad it was. So when I took the car in to find out why it was making a clanking sound, the guy simply glanced under the car and told me within 5 seconds that I need new tires because they are worn to a dangerous point - all due to the bad alignment. The mechanic told me flat out that I wasn't driving anywhere in that car until it had new tires on it. So great. Apparently, I was driving around a pretty unsafe car for quite some time.
~When I picked the car up, it feels great because of the new tires, but its still making a clanking sound. However, in the parking lot of the auto place, I can't hear the clanking, and neither could the mechanics, which I guess is why nothing is fixed. Of course the loudest sound I've ever heard the car make just miraculously disappears when I bring it to the mechanic and then reappears 5 minutes down the road after picking up the car.
~Our lawnmower doesn't work, nor do I know how to go shopping for a lawnmower. I feel stupid for not knowing anything about lawnmowers, but the fact is, I really don't have a clue, so I wouldn't even know where to start. Luckily I have a friendly 12 year old next door neighbor who wants $10 from me to cut my lawn. I have happily let him take over the care of my lawn.
~2 lights burned out in our living room. Not a huge deal right? I can change a lightbulb. But for some reason, our house came with standard lightbulbs in every room except the living room. The lights in there are a weird size and when we first moved here, it took Mr. V several days and a few stores to finally find the right sized light to fit in there. Of course, the normal sized bulbs couldn't die, it had to be the ones that are hard to find.
~Our hose broke. Honestly? I didn't even know that hoses could break. But somehow, some spots of the hose got a weird bubble in them, which led to a pinprick-like hole which caused the water to come out of all the tiny holes, instead of the actual nozzle. I need the hose because I have a house full of cats, and I have to scrub and bleach the litter boxes weekly, and use the hose outside to do that. OK fine. I'm capable of buying a new hose, but it just adds to the annoyance of random things breaking.
~My sink was clogged a few nights ago. We have a garbage disposal, and sometimes when I wash dishes (by hand of course since our dishwasher is broken), the water starts to build up because there are pieces of food in the sink. Usually as soon as I turn on the garbage disposal, the water drains right away. But that didn't happen this time. I ended up with both sides of my sink completely clogged with standing water and nasty food particles. I thought I was going to throw up several times. 5 hours, yes 5 hours, after noticing that it was clogged, I finally got it to drain after several attempts at making the garbage disposal work and a trip to the store to buy a plunger and some draino. The plunger did absolutely nothing to help. The draino was specifically for standing water and the directions said to give it 15 minutes to work, but 30 for bad clogs. It took over an hour for each side to finally drain once I poured the draino in (and I did each side at different times).
After the clogged sink, I just lost it. My energy and motivation just completely disappeared. I know that in the grand scheme of things, it was just a clogged sink, but for me it was the last straw in a line of things going wrong. I swear that I have never had this much go wrong on me in so little time.
But here's the best part. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse (which I really need to stop thinking) it did. I discovered 2 nights ago that we have termites. Great. So now I have to get an exterminator, although, maybe if I let the termites eat the house, then we won't have a house anymore, and therefore nothing else can go wrong with the house :-). I think that sounds like a good plan.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Murphy's Law Take 2
A quick update on my life during deployment...
Apparently writing about the bad/annoying/really inconvenient things that have happened to me is apparently an open invitation for more bad things to happen.
First...Larry, the kitten that isn't mine, has an umbilical hernia that looks like it will probably require surgery long before his owner comes back home to take him back. Of course it figures that the one cat that has something wrong with him is the one cat that isn't mine. Caring for him has now become a conversation between me, Mr. V and Larry's owner...while all of us are in 3 different places and 3 different time zones. It makes for some hard decision making.
Second...Larry, the kitten that isn't mine, is apparently determined to drive me insane. Not only does he have a hernia, but he also likes to run out the door at every chance he gets. And he's FAST. Almost every single day, I find myself running back and forth in front of the house (I only had to crawl underneath my neighbor's porch once so far), trying to catch him. I still haven't figured out how to keep him from running out the door. Having 9 cats already, I thought it was simple to keep them inside, even when they wanted to go outside. But Larry is quick and even when I think he isn't near me, he still manages to dart out the door in the 5 seconds that I have it open. I bought him a collar and a name tag, which he promptly took off and hid somewhere so I can't find it.
Third...Larry, the kitten that isn't mine, broke my finger. Sort of. A few days ago, in one of my desperate attempts to keep him from running out the door, I slammed the door on my thumb. Needless to say, Larry still escaped and my thumb quickly swelled up and turned a nice shade of purple. Running after a kitten, while trying hard not to scream in pain, wasn't my idea of a fun time. That day I thought that I just badly bruised my thumb. The next day I woke up to a thumb that was even more swollen and more purple. That was yesterday. I debated going to the doctor, but in the end I decided to just try to splint it on my own at home. I think thats the only thing a doctor can do for a broken thumb anyway. As of last night though, I'm not sure if its actually broken. I think it might be dislocated, which sounds better, but for some reason that creeps me out even more. I hate medical stuff and I hate when pieces of my body do things they aren't supposed to do. Last night my thumb was still purple and swollen but that was going down a lot. Then when I tried to move my thumb it started making a popping sound. I don't know why, but that sound just made me queasy, because my thumb isn't supposed to sound like that! Today, the swelling is almost all the way gone and the purple is starting to go away. Its still making a popping sound though and it still hurts like hell when I try to move it. I'm going to give it another day or 2 and then go to a doctor if it won't pop itself back into place on its own.
So needless to say, this cute little kitten is determined to drive me out of my mind, while hurting me in the process!
On a happy note though, I talked to my friend Alice today for about 2 hours. She's coming out to visit in 8 days and I am so excited! Its really starting to get lonely being in this house all by myself. I feel like I need a connection to my life before Washington, so Alice will get here at a perfect time!
Harry Potter is also coming out next week, and this Sunday the movie theater on base is showing a sneak preview of it for free! Mrs. S and I are going to try to go. We're just hoping it won't fill up right away and we'll be able to get seats.
So in a world where Murphy seems happy to visit me almost every day, I have some happy things to look forward to :-).
Apparently writing about the bad/annoying/really inconvenient things that have happened to me is apparently an open invitation for more bad things to happen.
First...Larry, the kitten that isn't mine, has an umbilical hernia that looks like it will probably require surgery long before his owner comes back home to take him back. Of course it figures that the one cat that has something wrong with him is the one cat that isn't mine. Caring for him has now become a conversation between me, Mr. V and Larry's owner...while all of us are in 3 different places and 3 different time zones. It makes for some hard decision making.
Second...Larry, the kitten that isn't mine, is apparently determined to drive me insane. Not only does he have a hernia, but he also likes to run out the door at every chance he gets. And he's FAST. Almost every single day, I find myself running back and forth in front of the house (I only had to crawl underneath my neighbor's porch once so far), trying to catch him. I still haven't figured out how to keep him from running out the door. Having 9 cats already, I thought it was simple to keep them inside, even when they wanted to go outside. But Larry is quick and even when I think he isn't near me, he still manages to dart out the door in the 5 seconds that I have it open. I bought him a collar and a name tag, which he promptly took off and hid somewhere so I can't find it.
Third...Larry, the kitten that isn't mine, broke my finger. Sort of. A few days ago, in one of my desperate attempts to keep him from running out the door, I slammed the door on my thumb. Needless to say, Larry still escaped and my thumb quickly swelled up and turned a nice shade of purple. Running after a kitten, while trying hard not to scream in pain, wasn't my idea of a fun time. That day I thought that I just badly bruised my thumb. The next day I woke up to a thumb that was even more swollen and more purple. That was yesterday. I debated going to the doctor, but in the end I decided to just try to splint it on my own at home. I think thats the only thing a doctor can do for a broken thumb anyway. As of last night though, I'm not sure if its actually broken. I think it might be dislocated, which sounds better, but for some reason that creeps me out even more. I hate medical stuff and I hate when pieces of my body do things they aren't supposed to do. Last night my thumb was still purple and swollen but that was going down a lot. Then when I tried to move my thumb it started making a popping sound. I don't know why, but that sound just made me queasy, because my thumb isn't supposed to sound like that! Today, the swelling is almost all the way gone and the purple is starting to go away. Its still making a popping sound though and it still hurts like hell when I try to move it. I'm going to give it another day or 2 and then go to a doctor if it won't pop itself back into place on its own.
So needless to say, this cute little kitten is determined to drive me out of my mind, while hurting me in the process!
On a happy note though, I talked to my friend Alice today for about 2 hours. She's coming out to visit in 8 days and I am so excited! Its really starting to get lonely being in this house all by myself. I feel like I need a connection to my life before Washington, so Alice will get here at a perfect time!
Harry Potter is also coming out next week, and this Sunday the movie theater on base is showing a sneak preview of it for free! Mrs. S and I are going to try to go. We're just hoping it won't fill up right away and we'll be able to get seats.
So in a world where Murphy seems happy to visit me almost every day, I have some happy things to look forward to :-).
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Murphy's Law
Since Mr. V has left lots of stuff has gone wrong. I think I jinxed myself. While other wives were talking about all the bad stuff that happens when their husband deploys, I sat there and said "Nothing bad has happened to ME yet!" I spoke too soon.
Since Mr. V has left:
~a shelf fell down in the closet
~our lawnmower doesn't work
~I have a cat peeing all over the house and with 9 of them its nearly impossible to figure out which one it is.
~The "system failure" light came on in my car, followed by the maintenance required light. My car isn't due for any maintenance and I have no idea what a system failure light means.
~Our dishwasher is dead. It started just by not working right. Now its dead.
I still have many months to go...what else can go wrong?
Since Mr. V has left:
~a shelf fell down in the closet
~our lawnmower doesn't work
~I have a cat peeing all over the house and with 9 of them its nearly impossible to figure out which one it is.
~The "system failure" light came on in my car, followed by the maintenance required light. My car isn't due for any maintenance and I have no idea what a system failure light means.
~Our dishwasher is dead. It started just by not working right. Now its dead.
I still have many months to go...what else can go wrong?
Monday, June 22, 2009
Dear In-Laws
Dear Mother-in-Law and Father-in-Law,
Since I can't say this to your face without starting a major family fight, I decided that a blog that you will never read would be the best way to vent my frustrations.
There are a few things that you need to know and understand:
1. I am not Mr. V's secretary. I don't know where he is 24/7. He's deployed. He's not here with me. However, even if he was here with me, I still don't keep track of his every move. If I did know where he was at all times and what he was doing at all times, I still wouldn't feel like giving you a running commentary about his life.
2. When your son tells you "Don't send any mail to this address after *insert date*, that means *gasp* Don't send any mail to that address after that date! Please re-read his instructions before calling me in a panic wondering where to send your 10th care package.
3. Mr. V has email access. He has a computer. I understand he is in another country, but he still has daily access to a computer. In fact, he has a computer with an internet connection in his room. If you have a REALLY important question, you are perfectly capable of emailing him and asking him. There is no need to call me in a panic because you don't know how to get in touch with him.
4. I am perfectly capable of sending my husband toothpaste if he needs it. I am also capable of sending him snacks, razors, soap or anything else he might need. If you want to send him care packages, FINE. But stop calling me, telling me that if he tells ME that he needs something, then I should call YOU so you can send it to him. I am an adult. I have a car. I live in a town with stores. I am perfectly capable of getting into my car, driving to the store, buying some toothpaste, putting that toothpaste into a box and then driving to the post office to mail it. I'm his wife. I don't need his mother to do what I am perfectly capable of doing myself.
5. If you can't figure out how to fill out a customs form, go to the post office and ask for help. Being clueless about a customs form does not warrant 3 text messages to me explaining that you don't know how to write on the form.
6. I don't care if you are on vacation somewhere. Your travels have no effect on my life. Please stop texting me to tell me that you are in Missouri, then Alabama, and now you're back home. If you feel the need to keep your entire family informed of your whereabouts then email Mr. V and tell him. There is absolutely no reason why your travels to Alabama are important enough that you NEED to tell me about them.
7. Please stop asking me for my mailing address. I've given it to you 3 times already. If you lost it, thats your problem. I personally don't think that you lost it and you're just looking for a reason to talk to me, but if you ask me again, I'm not answering. I have more important things to do with my time, than give you the same information over and over again.
8. Please stop asking me for Mr. V's mailing address. I don't believe that you have really lost this address either.
9. If you don't hear from Mr. V in a week, there is no reason to panic. If something happens to him while he's deployed, I promise you that you will know. I'm also not sure why you feel the need to call ME when you haven't heard from him. Did I mention that he has email? Ask him yourself if you're so concerned.
10. No, I do not need you to get on a plane and fly out here to help me or keep me company. I have my own parents if I need parents to do something for me. I also know how to read a phone book and use Google so I am capable of calling a professional if I need something fixed. I also don't want your company. I have friends and a life. They keep me company. So thanks for the offer, but no thanks. (P.S. My own mother was a little insulted when you called her to inform her that you will come out here to take care of me. She has every right to be insulted since I would call MY parents if I need parents!)
11. When your son writes emails to you, don't ignore the things that he tells you. If you ignore what he says, he's going to stop contacting you. Since contact is what you want from him, then it would probably be helpful to pay attention to the things he says.
12. Stop calling me to ask me if I'm doing ok. I am doing fine. Well...that is, until you call. Then I become stressed and irritated. If I don't call you back right away, then you will text me and email me until I do respond. Please stop. If I don't respond to your "We are in Alabama now" text message, that does not mean you have to follow it up with a question that I HAVE to answer, like "whats your mailing address?" As of today, I will no longer answer any stupid questions from you.
Thank you!
Brooklet
Since I can't say this to your face without starting a major family fight, I decided that a blog that you will never read would be the best way to vent my frustrations.
There are a few things that you need to know and understand:
1. I am not Mr. V's secretary. I don't know where he is 24/7. He's deployed. He's not here with me. However, even if he was here with me, I still don't keep track of his every move. If I did know where he was at all times and what he was doing at all times, I still wouldn't feel like giving you a running commentary about his life.
2. When your son tells you "Don't send any mail to this address after *insert date*, that means *gasp* Don't send any mail to that address after that date! Please re-read his instructions before calling me in a panic wondering where to send your 10th care package.
3. Mr. V has email access. He has a computer. I understand he is in another country, but he still has daily access to a computer. In fact, he has a computer with an internet connection in his room. If you have a REALLY important question, you are perfectly capable of emailing him and asking him. There is no need to call me in a panic because you don't know how to get in touch with him.
4. I am perfectly capable of sending my husband toothpaste if he needs it. I am also capable of sending him snacks, razors, soap or anything else he might need. If you want to send him care packages, FINE. But stop calling me, telling me that if he tells ME that he needs something, then I should call YOU so you can send it to him. I am an adult. I have a car. I live in a town with stores. I am perfectly capable of getting into my car, driving to the store, buying some toothpaste, putting that toothpaste into a box and then driving to the post office to mail it. I'm his wife. I don't need his mother to do what I am perfectly capable of doing myself.
5. If you can't figure out how to fill out a customs form, go to the post office and ask for help. Being clueless about a customs form does not warrant 3 text messages to me explaining that you don't know how to write on the form.
6. I don't care if you are on vacation somewhere. Your travels have no effect on my life. Please stop texting me to tell me that you are in Missouri, then Alabama, and now you're back home. If you feel the need to keep your entire family informed of your whereabouts then email Mr. V and tell him. There is absolutely no reason why your travels to Alabama are important enough that you NEED to tell me about them.
7. Please stop asking me for my mailing address. I've given it to you 3 times already. If you lost it, thats your problem. I personally don't think that you lost it and you're just looking for a reason to talk to me, but if you ask me again, I'm not answering. I have more important things to do with my time, than give you the same information over and over again.
8. Please stop asking me for Mr. V's mailing address. I don't believe that you have really lost this address either.
9. If you don't hear from Mr. V in a week, there is no reason to panic. If something happens to him while he's deployed, I promise you that you will know. I'm also not sure why you feel the need to call ME when you haven't heard from him. Did I mention that he has email? Ask him yourself if you're so concerned.
10. No, I do not need you to get on a plane and fly out here to help me or keep me company. I have my own parents if I need parents to do something for me. I also know how to read a phone book and use Google so I am capable of calling a professional if I need something fixed. I also don't want your company. I have friends and a life. They keep me company. So thanks for the offer, but no thanks. (P.S. My own mother was a little insulted when you called her to inform her that you will come out here to take care of me. She has every right to be insulted since I would call MY parents if I need parents!)
11. When your son writes emails to you, don't ignore the things that he tells you. If you ignore what he says, he's going to stop contacting you. Since contact is what you want from him, then it would probably be helpful to pay attention to the things he says.
12. Stop calling me to ask me if I'm doing ok. I am doing fine. Well...that is, until you call. Then I become stressed and irritated. If I don't call you back right away, then you will text me and email me until I do respond. Please stop. If I don't respond to your "We are in Alabama now" text message, that does not mean you have to follow it up with a question that I HAVE to answer, like "whats your mailing address?" As of today, I will no longer answer any stupid questions from you.
Thank you!
Brooklet
Monday, June 8, 2009
Deployment Blues
I think it finally hit me that my husband is gone for the rest of the year. Everyone that I have talked to who has been through a deployment before warned me that this would happen. I was told that one day it would all hit me and I'd be sad, lonely and miserable for a while, until something clicked and I became ok again. Well...I'm ready to be ok again :-(.
When Mr. V first left, I was devastated as I mentioned in a post from a few weeks ago. I cried my eyes out and thought I'd never be ok and never survive this deployment. Then about 2 days later, I was fine. I felt happy. I felt normal. I was keeping myself busy and getting into a routine and I was fine. I was hoping to avoid that day when it would all sink in and I'd get upset again. Unfortunately, I wasn't lucky enough to avoid it.
This past Thursday my sister-in-law came into town. I knew that she was coming, but originally I thought she was coming later in the month. She is doing a summer study program in Alaska. She had to fly into Seattle and then get to Bellingham to get on a boat to Alaska. After talking to her, I learned that each student was responsible for finding their way to the boat. Once they got to the boat then their travel plans were secure, but before that it was up to each individual person to find a way to get where they were going. So SIL asked me if I could pick her up at the airport, then spend the night at my house and then drive her to Bellingham the next day. Of course I said sure!
I picked her up at the airport late Thursday night. We spent a good 2 hours talking in the car and then we crashed and fell asleep. The next day we lounged around the house in the morning, then I took her to Deception Pass around noon, and then we were off to Bellingham.
Bellingham itself was an adventure, because I had no idea that there was a waterfront there. (Yes it makes perfect sense that there is a waterfront there, but I'm still lacking some basic knowledge of Washington geography.) Of course we didn't think to bring directions with us. We knew what street we had to get to and google maps made it look like the street was right off of the interstate. It wasn't. Of course. Needless to say, we had quite the adventure driving around Bellingham trying to find our way to the boat. We found the waterfront and we found lots of boats, but apparently to get to the Alaska ferry you actually have to leave the waterfront area, drive through the University area, then loop around back to the waterfront (google maps was NOT helpful with that information). We did get a nice tour of the city though :-). SIL had to be at the boat at 3:30pm. We got there at 4:00. A phone call to her teacher assured us that other people were only just arriving and the boat didn't leave until 6:00 so we were good. So after our driving adventure, we got to the boat, got her bags out of the car and got her checked in. When I said goodbye to her, is when the reality of my life hit me.
I'm not sure what caused it, but I got back into my car and started crying :'-(. I had this overwhelming sense of loneliness and I didn't understand why. She was with me for less than 24 hours and we had fun while she was here. I had this weird feeling that I missed her and I was upset because I knew that she didn't miss me. Then logic started working and I realized that I could care less that she was gone. I don't mean that in a mean way. I had fun with her and I would have gladly hung out with her longer, but I think my logic was that I wasn't missing HER, I was missing her brother, my husband. I'm not sure if that even makes sense. Mr. V isn't even all that close with his sisters, but this particular sister is more like him than the other 2. There were a few things that she said and did in the short time she was with me that reminded me of him. Little things like saying that the air at Deception Pass smelled clean and fresh. Mr. V says that all the time and I laugh at him because I'm kind of sick of hearing it :-). When she said the exact same thing it was like he was with me...but he wasn't. I guess in a way, she was my connection to him in a completely illogical way, so when she left, I found myself missing him more than I had before I even picked his sister up from the airport.
I've been ok since then, but the sadness hasn't gone away. I'm thankful that I'm not so depressed that I can't function. The idea of that happening scares me, especially because thats the way I felt the day he left. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I can handle normal sadness, but it still sucks.
Then today, I got my anniversary present in the mail from him. I knew from the moment he checked into his squadron here that we wouldn't be able to celebrate our 1st anniversary together, and I thought I was ok with that. I WAS ok with that until this sadness started creeping back and until I got his present in the mail today. When we got married a year ago (a year as of this Sunday - June 14th), we had a very simple wedding, which was the way I wanted it. I only had 2 things that I absolutely HAD to have in my wedding. I wanted yellow daisies. I wanted a sword arch. Anything else I didn't really care. I'd offer my opinion on other things, but the 2 things I was dead set on were the yellow daisies and the sword arch. Of course it figures, that we had the world's worst photographer and our sword arch pictures came out horrible. Everyone is in a horrible shadow that even someone who takes pictures just for fun, would have been able to figure out. When Mr. V had asked the photographer to turn the sword arch around so we wouldn't be in shadows, she got snippy with him and said that she knew what she was doing. Well..clearly she didn't because our pictures didn't come out good. The sword arch pictures were the ONLY pictures that I really cared about. I just wanted one picture to enlarge and frame and I don't have one that is good enough to do that.
Ironically, the day that I received my present from Mr. V, I had spent the afternoon at a camera store getting one of the sword arch pictures sent out to be touched up by professional people who can hopefully get rid of the bad shadow. My fingers are crossed that they'll be able to do it and I'll have my framable picture. Anyway, my present from Mr. V was the sweetest and most loving present I have ever gotten. He spent hours hand drawing the picture that I wanted so badly. Since the first anniversary gift is traditionally paper, he gave me a piece of paper, with his hand drawn picture of our sword arch. He took the actual picture and copied it in full detail into his own artwork. I knew he had artistic talent, but I didn't know he was able to draw this well at all. I've never been a person who needs or wants extravagant gifts, and thankfully he knows that because this picture means more to me than any store bought gift would. I'd say more about it, but he's getting a thank you letter from me, so I don't want him to read everything I have to say right now, in my blog.
Getting that picture made me even sadder though :-(. I loved it, but that is when reality hit me again. We won't be together for our 1st anniversary, and while I thought I was ok with that originally, I guess I'm really not. Obviously, there is nothing I can do about it, but it still just hurts. I'm sure I'll spend more time crying over this as the week goes on and we approach our actual anniversary.
I'm sorry that this post isn't a very happy one, but I guess I'm just not a very happy person right now. I miss my husband...a lot. I know that this will pass and I'll get back into a routine. I just hope that it passes quickly. I know I'll still miss him, but I hate feeling this sad about it :-(.
When Mr. V first left, I was devastated as I mentioned in a post from a few weeks ago. I cried my eyes out and thought I'd never be ok and never survive this deployment. Then about 2 days later, I was fine. I felt happy. I felt normal. I was keeping myself busy and getting into a routine and I was fine. I was hoping to avoid that day when it would all sink in and I'd get upset again. Unfortunately, I wasn't lucky enough to avoid it.
This past Thursday my sister-in-law came into town. I knew that she was coming, but originally I thought she was coming later in the month. She is doing a summer study program in Alaska. She had to fly into Seattle and then get to Bellingham to get on a boat to Alaska. After talking to her, I learned that each student was responsible for finding their way to the boat. Once they got to the boat then their travel plans were secure, but before that it was up to each individual person to find a way to get where they were going. So SIL asked me if I could pick her up at the airport, then spend the night at my house and then drive her to Bellingham the next day. Of course I said sure!
I picked her up at the airport late Thursday night. We spent a good 2 hours talking in the car and then we crashed and fell asleep. The next day we lounged around the house in the morning, then I took her to Deception Pass around noon, and then we were off to Bellingham.
Bellingham itself was an adventure, because I had no idea that there was a waterfront there. (Yes it makes perfect sense that there is a waterfront there, but I'm still lacking some basic knowledge of Washington geography.) Of course we didn't think to bring directions with us. We knew what street we had to get to and google maps made it look like the street was right off of the interstate. It wasn't. Of course. Needless to say, we had quite the adventure driving around Bellingham trying to find our way to the boat. We found the waterfront and we found lots of boats, but apparently to get to the Alaska ferry you actually have to leave the waterfront area, drive through the University area, then loop around back to the waterfront (google maps was NOT helpful with that information). We did get a nice tour of the city though :-). SIL had to be at the boat at 3:30pm. We got there at 4:00. A phone call to her teacher assured us that other people were only just arriving and the boat didn't leave until 6:00 so we were good. So after our driving adventure, we got to the boat, got her bags out of the car and got her checked in. When I said goodbye to her, is when the reality of my life hit me.
I'm not sure what caused it, but I got back into my car and started crying :'-(. I had this overwhelming sense of loneliness and I didn't understand why. She was with me for less than 24 hours and we had fun while she was here. I had this weird feeling that I missed her and I was upset because I knew that she didn't miss me. Then logic started working and I realized that I could care less that she was gone. I don't mean that in a mean way. I had fun with her and I would have gladly hung out with her longer, but I think my logic was that I wasn't missing HER, I was missing her brother, my husband. I'm not sure if that even makes sense. Mr. V isn't even all that close with his sisters, but this particular sister is more like him than the other 2. There were a few things that she said and did in the short time she was with me that reminded me of him. Little things like saying that the air at Deception Pass smelled clean and fresh. Mr. V says that all the time and I laugh at him because I'm kind of sick of hearing it :-). When she said the exact same thing it was like he was with me...but he wasn't. I guess in a way, she was my connection to him in a completely illogical way, so when she left, I found myself missing him more than I had before I even picked his sister up from the airport.
I've been ok since then, but the sadness hasn't gone away. I'm thankful that I'm not so depressed that I can't function. The idea of that happening scares me, especially because thats the way I felt the day he left. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I can handle normal sadness, but it still sucks.
Then today, I got my anniversary present in the mail from him. I knew from the moment he checked into his squadron here that we wouldn't be able to celebrate our 1st anniversary together, and I thought I was ok with that. I WAS ok with that until this sadness started creeping back and until I got his present in the mail today. When we got married a year ago (a year as of this Sunday - June 14th), we had a very simple wedding, which was the way I wanted it. I only had 2 things that I absolutely HAD to have in my wedding. I wanted yellow daisies. I wanted a sword arch. Anything else I didn't really care. I'd offer my opinion on other things, but the 2 things I was dead set on were the yellow daisies and the sword arch. Of course it figures, that we had the world's worst photographer and our sword arch pictures came out horrible. Everyone is in a horrible shadow that even someone who takes pictures just for fun, would have been able to figure out. When Mr. V had asked the photographer to turn the sword arch around so we wouldn't be in shadows, she got snippy with him and said that she knew what she was doing. Well..clearly she didn't because our pictures didn't come out good. The sword arch pictures were the ONLY pictures that I really cared about. I just wanted one picture to enlarge and frame and I don't have one that is good enough to do that.
Ironically, the day that I received my present from Mr. V, I had spent the afternoon at a camera store getting one of the sword arch pictures sent out to be touched up by professional people who can hopefully get rid of the bad shadow. My fingers are crossed that they'll be able to do it and I'll have my framable picture. Anyway, my present from Mr. V was the sweetest and most loving present I have ever gotten. He spent hours hand drawing the picture that I wanted so badly. Since the first anniversary gift is traditionally paper, he gave me a piece of paper, with his hand drawn picture of our sword arch. He took the actual picture and copied it in full detail into his own artwork. I knew he had artistic talent, but I didn't know he was able to draw this well at all. I've never been a person who needs or wants extravagant gifts, and thankfully he knows that because this picture means more to me than any store bought gift would. I'd say more about it, but he's getting a thank you letter from me, so I don't want him to read everything I have to say right now, in my blog.
Getting that picture made me even sadder though :-(. I loved it, but that is when reality hit me again. We won't be together for our 1st anniversary, and while I thought I was ok with that originally, I guess I'm really not. Obviously, there is nothing I can do about it, but it still just hurts. I'm sure I'll spend more time crying over this as the week goes on and we approach our actual anniversary.
I'm sorry that this post isn't a very happy one, but I guess I'm just not a very happy person right now. I miss my husband...a lot. I know that this will pass and I'll get back into a routine. I just hope that it passes quickly. I know I'll still miss him, but I hate feeling this sad about it :-(.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Note to Self - Deployment Survival
I've been told that they key to surviving a deployment is to keep yourself busy. My lesson learned is that this is accurate information, and important information/advice. However, the part that people leave out is to not make yourself TOO busy! I think I have officially crashed and burned and I want nothing more than to just sit on my couch, watch a movie and veg out for a while.
The weeks leading up to Mr. V's deployment were insanely busy. Between Dining Out, Change of Command, various parties celebrating the change of command, and random other mandatory fun events, I thought I was going to lose my mind before he left (the only thing that saved me was a random day trip to the Olympic Peninsula to see Forks and La Push - I'll have to write a very outdated blog about that when I get time.)
Anyway, once he left, I decided to take the advice that I was given and stay busy. Between more mandatory fun (spouse club related), planning an FRG picnic, making the squadron deployment calendar (other wives created their own squares, but my friend and I created the actual calendar. We were determined to make it the best looking calendar there is, so needless to say, I can't believe how much time this calendar took up. Its still not done and we have to mail it out tomorrow.), babysitting for a few different families, cleaning my house, learning how to mow the lawn (my neighbor eventually took pity on me and finished my front yard while a friend's husband did the backyard for me) and spending time with a friend of mine while she was housesitting, I am offically, completely worn out. That may not seem like a lot to do, but certain things have doubled for me since Mr. V left - like house cleaning. I was looking forward to having less laundry and dishes to wash, but I didn't account for the fact that he takes care of all the cat related stuff. Scooping litter boxes, cleaning litter boxes, sweeping excess litter, cleaning up random hairballs, and figuring out why my one cat is insisting on peeing everywhere in the house (no he's not sick), is not my cup of tea. I think the work that lessened for me was just taken over by the work I gained, which was not a happy realization to come to.
The FRG picnic went off without a hitch today and that was a very good thing. 3 of us planned this picnic, so we weren't quite sure how it was going to turn out. Thankfully, it went as planned, and we had a fairly large turnout. I'm sitting here now realizing that I managed to get a pretty bad sunburn today, even though I was freezing all afternoon. I think the sunburn is what did me in. When the picnic was over, I said I was done being busy for while. Then I realized I had a sunburn. I'm exhausted, tired, and my arms hurt from the burn.
I wish I could say that I have nothing to do this week, but that's just not true. On Wednesday we have a spouse club meeting/party to welcome the new XO's wife. Then on Friday I have to go to a party to celebrate the old XO's wife becomming the new CO's wife. I think it would be pretty rude if I skipped these 2 parties, so maybe next week I can finally just sit around doing absolutely nothing for a few days. Somewhere in the week I also have to find time to finish this stupid (thank you to Liz for calling and constantly reminding us that its a morale booster - otherwise it would probably be in the trash by now) deployment calendar too.
So my note to self is this: Stay busy during a deployment, but find some time to relax in there too! Sounds obvious right? I wish I knew how obvious it was BEFORE I managed to wear myself out.
The weeks leading up to Mr. V's deployment were insanely busy. Between Dining Out, Change of Command, various parties celebrating the change of command, and random other mandatory fun events, I thought I was going to lose my mind before he left (the only thing that saved me was a random day trip to the Olympic Peninsula to see Forks and La Push - I'll have to write a very outdated blog about that when I get time.)
Anyway, once he left, I decided to take the advice that I was given and stay busy. Between more mandatory fun (spouse club related), planning an FRG picnic, making the squadron deployment calendar (other wives created their own squares, but my friend and I created the actual calendar. We were determined to make it the best looking calendar there is, so needless to say, I can't believe how much time this calendar took up. Its still not done and we have to mail it out tomorrow.), babysitting for a few different families, cleaning my house, learning how to mow the lawn (my neighbor eventually took pity on me and finished my front yard while a friend's husband did the backyard for me) and spending time with a friend of mine while she was housesitting, I am offically, completely worn out. That may not seem like a lot to do, but certain things have doubled for me since Mr. V left - like house cleaning. I was looking forward to having less laundry and dishes to wash, but I didn't account for the fact that he takes care of all the cat related stuff. Scooping litter boxes, cleaning litter boxes, sweeping excess litter, cleaning up random hairballs, and figuring out why my one cat is insisting on peeing everywhere in the house (no he's not sick), is not my cup of tea. I think the work that lessened for me was just taken over by the work I gained, which was not a happy realization to come to.
The FRG picnic went off without a hitch today and that was a very good thing. 3 of us planned this picnic, so we weren't quite sure how it was going to turn out. Thankfully, it went as planned, and we had a fairly large turnout. I'm sitting here now realizing that I managed to get a pretty bad sunburn today, even though I was freezing all afternoon. I think the sunburn is what did me in. When the picnic was over, I said I was done being busy for while. Then I realized I had a sunburn. I'm exhausted, tired, and my arms hurt from the burn.
I wish I could say that I have nothing to do this week, but that's just not true. On Wednesday we have a spouse club meeting/party to welcome the new XO's wife. Then on Friday I have to go to a party to celebrate the old XO's wife becomming the new CO's wife. I think it would be pretty rude if I skipped these 2 parties, so maybe next week I can finally just sit around doing absolutely nothing for a few days. Somewhere in the week I also have to find time to finish this stupid (thank you to Liz for calling and constantly reminding us that its a morale booster - otherwise it would probably be in the trash by now) deployment calendar too.
So my note to self is this: Stay busy during a deployment, but find some time to relax in there too! Sounds obvious right? I wish I knew how obvious it was BEFORE I managed to wear myself out.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Larry
I have a new addition to my cat farm. Meet Larry, my new temporary resident.
Before you think that I am crazy for taking in a 10th cat, let me start by explaining that Larry is not my cat, nor will he ever be my cat. Larry is a 6 month old (yes he's huge for his age) kitten that belongs to a friend of mine, Mrs. C. Mrs. C is pregnant. Her husband is currently deployed with my husband, and she has gone back to her home state of Indiana for the duration of the deployment. Since she will be having her baby in Indiana, that means that when she comes back to Washington she will be traveling with a brand new baby, alone. Vet bills are somewhat costly to even have a pet approved to fly on an airplane, so rather than pay a large sum of money, and then travel back here with a new baby AND a kitten (who I guess will be a cat by that point), she asked me to hang on to Larry for the next 6+ months. Me being the crazy cat lady that I am, said yes, of course. I figured I have 9 of them already, what's one more?
Let me start by applauding Mrs. C for asking me to care for Larry while she's gone. I am so sick and tired of people posting ads around this town that say things like "My husband is deploying so I have to get rid of my kitten." I'm not even going to start ranting about how that statement is just plain stupid - I already posted a blog on my opinion of people who have stupid excuses for "getting rid of" animals. Mrs. C originally had another friend who was going to take care of Larry for her, but when those plans fell through, she got a little worried, which is when I got her frantic email asking if I would take on one more cat. It makes me so happy that she isn't a person who would just dump her cat somewhere while she goes back home for a few months. She even told me that if she couldn't find a place for him to stay, she would find a way to pay to bring him home with her. Mrs. C is only 19 years old. Don't get me wrong. She's very mature and I am in no way saying that 19 year olds are not mature, BUT there are 40 year olds out there who think its ok to just dispose of pets, and TONS and TONS of young people who constantly "get rid of" their pets in this town, whenever they feel like it. So it makes me happy to know that a young person loves her pet enough to find a way to do what's best for him...and for her.
So while Mr. V is deployed, Larry is keeping me company. He has been here for less than a week but he has already made a point of terrorizing my house. I have 3 young cats. All of them just turned a year old. So I thought I knew what it was like to have kittens in my house, because they are kittens. I honestly didn't realize that I had already forgotten what it was like to have a 6 month old kitten running around the house. Look up the word "hyper" in the dictionary and you will find a picture of Larry. Some of my cats are happy that they have a new friend to play with. A few others, like my constantly disgruntled Wendy, are quite irritated with me right now.
Larry has made a point of trying to play with Wendy the most, and if any of you have ever met Wendy, I'm sure you can only imagine how she sounds as she howls and yells and hisses and growls at him every single time he comes near her. The funniest part, is that he simply doesn't care. He just keeps going back for more.
I have found out that Larry is an excellent "helper". My friend and I are in charge of making a deployment calendar for the guys in Iraq. Needless to say, Larry thought that it was very important that he help us make the calendar...which of course, made the entire process even longer.
And...that's Larry. In between chasing him after he runs out the front door, cursing him as he runs laps around my bed at 5:00 in the morning, and laughing at him as he bothers the other cats, I've realized that he will be my ultimate test. I have always wanted to own my own rescue one day but I have a hard time finding homes for the cats that I rescue. The last 3 cats that I brought into my house I swore up and down that once they were healthy I would find them homes. Now almost 6 months later, they are still here and I have no plans to find them another home. I figure that if I can give Larry back at the end of this deployment without crying, then maybe I will be able to own a place where I would have to adopt cats out to people one day. Wish me luck on accepting the fact that Larry is only temporary :-).
As a side note, as I was writing this, I realized that Larry will be here for Halloween! That means that I get to dress him up along with the rest of my zoo. I am sure Mrs. C will be thrilled!
Before you think that I am crazy for taking in a 10th cat, let me start by explaining that Larry is not my cat, nor will he ever be my cat. Larry is a 6 month old (yes he's huge for his age) kitten that belongs to a friend of mine, Mrs. C. Mrs. C is pregnant. Her husband is currently deployed with my husband, and she has gone back to her home state of Indiana for the duration of the deployment. Since she will be having her baby in Indiana, that means that when she comes back to Washington she will be traveling with a brand new baby, alone. Vet bills are somewhat costly to even have a pet approved to fly on an airplane, so rather than pay a large sum of money, and then travel back here with a new baby AND a kitten (who I guess will be a cat by that point), she asked me to hang on to Larry for the next 6+ months. Me being the crazy cat lady that I am, said yes, of course. I figured I have 9 of them already, what's one more?
Let me start by applauding Mrs. C for asking me to care for Larry while she's gone. I am so sick and tired of people posting ads around this town that say things like "My husband is deploying so I have to get rid of my kitten." I'm not even going to start ranting about how that statement is just plain stupid - I already posted a blog on my opinion of people who have stupid excuses for "getting rid of" animals. Mrs. C originally had another friend who was going to take care of Larry for her, but when those plans fell through, she got a little worried, which is when I got her frantic email asking if I would take on one more cat. It makes me so happy that she isn't a person who would just dump her cat somewhere while she goes back home for a few months. She even told me that if she couldn't find a place for him to stay, she would find a way to pay to bring him home with her. Mrs. C is only 19 years old. Don't get me wrong. She's very mature and I am in no way saying that 19 year olds are not mature, BUT there are 40 year olds out there who think its ok to just dispose of pets, and TONS and TONS of young people who constantly "get rid of" their pets in this town, whenever they feel like it. So it makes me happy to know that a young person loves her pet enough to find a way to do what's best for him...and for her.
So while Mr. V is deployed, Larry is keeping me company. He has been here for less than a week but he has already made a point of terrorizing my house. I have 3 young cats. All of them just turned a year old. So I thought I knew what it was like to have kittens in my house, because they are kittens. I honestly didn't realize that I had already forgotten what it was like to have a 6 month old kitten running around the house. Look up the word "hyper" in the dictionary and you will find a picture of Larry. Some of my cats are happy that they have a new friend to play with. A few others, like my constantly disgruntled Wendy, are quite irritated with me right now.
Larry has made a point of trying to play with Wendy the most, and if any of you have ever met Wendy, I'm sure you can only imagine how she sounds as she howls and yells and hisses and growls at him every single time he comes near her. The funniest part, is that he simply doesn't care. He just keeps going back for more.
I have found out that Larry is an excellent "helper". My friend and I are in charge of making a deployment calendar for the guys in Iraq. Needless to say, Larry thought that it was very important that he help us make the calendar...which of course, made the entire process even longer.
And...that's Larry. In between chasing him after he runs out the front door, cursing him as he runs laps around my bed at 5:00 in the morning, and laughing at him as he bothers the other cats, I've realized that he will be my ultimate test. I have always wanted to own my own rescue one day but I have a hard time finding homes for the cats that I rescue. The last 3 cats that I brought into my house I swore up and down that once they were healthy I would find them homes. Now almost 6 months later, they are still here and I have no plans to find them another home. I figure that if I can give Larry back at the end of this deployment without crying, then maybe I will be able to own a place where I would have to adopt cats out to people one day. Wish me luck on accepting the fact that Larry is only temporary :-).
As a side note, as I was writing this, I realized that Larry will be here for Halloween! That means that I get to dress him up along with the rest of my zoo. I am sure Mrs. C will be thrilled!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Long Road Ahead
Well...Mr. V is gone. Deployment has started and now I have started the countdown to when he returns. I have to admit that I didn't react at all like I thought I would. I expected to be sad when he left. I expected to be upset. I didn't expect to break down into uncontrollable tears the way I did. I also didn't expect to be going through these crazy emotional mood swings that I am going through right now. I knew that all this stuff was possible, but I guess I just thought that it wouldn't happen to me. I'm a person who enjoys being alone at times. I realized though, that while I enjoy my alone time, I also enjoy choosing when I get to take that alone time. I think the fact that I had no control over him leaving is what is making my emotions all screwed up right now.
The day he left was hard. I started crying several hours before he left and continued crying for several hours after he left. I am very happy that I was able to see him off though. I know that some wives prefer to not drop their husbands off or to just drop them off and leave immediately. I needed the closure of saying goodbye to him and I am happy that I had that. Besides, we arrived at the air terminal on time, and then it took another 2 hours before he left, so I'm thankful for those extra 2 hours. Granted, they were spent in a large room with tons of other people, but I think I would have regretted it if I hadn't been there during that time. Here are 3 pictures of us the day he left. The first two were taken during a lull in my tears. I'm surprised that I actually look focused and somewhat happy. The second one was taken right before he walked into a line waiting for the bus to take him to his plane. By the time the second one was taken, I had broken down into tears again.
On the day he left, I never thought I'd manage to gain control of my tears, but thankfully, I have friends and I have things to do to keep me busy, so I have been able to feel slightly normal again. The night that he left was hard. The wife of the squadron's CO invited everyone over to her house for food and comfort but I wasn't in the mood to be around a large group of people. I just needed to cry and get it all out. At the same time though, I didn't want to be completely alone, so I spent most of the night at my friend's house. We cooked dinner, cried a little and watched Twilight in an attempt to cheer ourselves up.
The next day I woke up feeling pretty cheerful. I don't know if I was in denial or if it simply means that I'm going to be ok. I babysat that day, and then that evening my friend came over and we had dinner at my house, while we watched Bride Wars (food and chick flicks are clearly the answer to cheering ourselves up!).
The next day was a little harder. I woke up upset again. I guess that was the start of my emotional mood swings. Once I dragged myself out of bed, I tried to motivate myself to get some errands taken care of. I didn't actually make it out of the house until 3:00 that day. And if you know me, I may be slow moving in the morning, but 3:00 is a VERY late start, even for me. Then that night was dinner at my friend's house again. This time around another guy in the squadron who hasn't left yet cooked us dinner. He is a good friend of our husbands and he wanted to get rid of some steaks that he had before he heads off on deployment too, so he cooked us some really yummy steaks. Then we watched American Idol, Biggest Loser and The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Like I said before, TV and food is clearly the answer to cheering me up. Or maybe its just an escape from reality.
On a completely random side note, I can't believe that there is now a Real Housewives of New Jersey on. I think the show in general is ridiculous and I have to admit that I was a little scared to see this new one. New Jersey has such a bad reputation to begin with, and after years and years of defending my home state to anyone who makes fun of it, I was pretty embarrassed that they chose New Jersey for the next season of the Housewives show! Prior seasons have featured housewives from individual cities or counties, so why on earth are they focusing on the whole state in this show? From what I saw last night, the women all live in the same town, or at least the same area. I have to admit though, that even through the ridiculousness of this show, it wasn't quite as embarrassing as I had anticipated. If anything, it shows people that the state is not full of cities that look like Newark. That part actually made me happy. These women are the typical rich, snobby housewives, who live in large beautiful homes and shop and eat at the best places around. So for anyone out there who thinks New Jersey is made up of dirty, crime filled cities, guess again :-). An airport that you fly into is not an indication of the entire state. On that note though, please don't assume that every woman in the state acts like these women!
Back to my deployment adjustments...
Today I woke up happy again, and I even got to talk to Mr. V for a short time online this morning. I had already received a few emails from him, so I have to admit that the ability to communicate with him makes things much easier. I know a lot of women don't like the communication that the military has today. They don't think its enough. I personally am VERY happy that this is not the time period that my grandparents lived in. When my grandfather deployed on an aircraft carrier during the Korean War, my grandma only heard from him through letters that arrived VERY slowly...if they even arrived at all. I think its a little selfish to complain about bad communication now because from what I can tell, its pretty good. Granted, we only got to talk for a short time before his time was up on the computer, but the fact that we got to talk at all made me very happy and put me in a strange mood for the rest of the day. I say strange because I was so happy that I got to talk to him, but it also saddened me because I miss having him here to talk to whenever I want to. Just add that to the list of things causing my emotional mood swings!
Today I also realized that I WILL be ok throughout all of this if I can keep myself busy the way I have been. That thought was a very cheerful thought, especially considering the fact that I never thought I would stop crying a few days ago. However, once again, it also brought me some saddness because mixed in with the realization that keeping myself busy is the way to go, I realized that not even a week has passed since he left. I feel like time is flying by, but when I stop to look at the date, it really hasn't. I need time to fly by and not just feel like its flying by!
So wish me luck in getting through this! I always knew that a deployment was coming, but that reality still doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. I miss my husband, and will be eagerly anticipating his return home at the end of the year!
The day he left was hard. I started crying several hours before he left and continued crying for several hours after he left. I am very happy that I was able to see him off though. I know that some wives prefer to not drop their husbands off or to just drop them off and leave immediately. I needed the closure of saying goodbye to him and I am happy that I had that. Besides, we arrived at the air terminal on time, and then it took another 2 hours before he left, so I'm thankful for those extra 2 hours. Granted, they were spent in a large room with tons of other people, but I think I would have regretted it if I hadn't been there during that time. Here are 3 pictures of us the day he left. The first two were taken during a lull in my tears. I'm surprised that I actually look focused and somewhat happy. The second one was taken right before he walked into a line waiting for the bus to take him to his plane. By the time the second one was taken, I had broken down into tears again.
On the day he left, I never thought I'd manage to gain control of my tears, but thankfully, I have friends and I have things to do to keep me busy, so I have been able to feel slightly normal again. The night that he left was hard. The wife of the squadron's CO invited everyone over to her house for food and comfort but I wasn't in the mood to be around a large group of people. I just needed to cry and get it all out. At the same time though, I didn't want to be completely alone, so I spent most of the night at my friend's house. We cooked dinner, cried a little and watched Twilight in an attempt to cheer ourselves up.The next day I woke up feeling pretty cheerful. I don't know if I was in denial or if it simply means that I'm going to be ok. I babysat that day, and then that evening my friend came over and we had dinner at my house, while we watched Bride Wars (food and chick flicks are clearly the answer to cheering ourselves up!).
The next day was a little harder. I woke up upset again. I guess that was the start of my emotional mood swings. Once I dragged myself out of bed, I tried to motivate myself to get some errands taken care of. I didn't actually make it out of the house until 3:00 that day. And if you know me, I may be slow moving in the morning, but 3:00 is a VERY late start, even for me. Then that night was dinner at my friend's house again. This time around another guy in the squadron who hasn't left yet cooked us dinner. He is a good friend of our husbands and he wanted to get rid of some steaks that he had before he heads off on deployment too, so he cooked us some really yummy steaks. Then we watched American Idol, Biggest Loser and The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Like I said before, TV and food is clearly the answer to cheering me up. Or maybe its just an escape from reality.
On a completely random side note, I can't believe that there is now a Real Housewives of New Jersey on. I think the show in general is ridiculous and I have to admit that I was a little scared to see this new one. New Jersey has such a bad reputation to begin with, and after years and years of defending my home state to anyone who makes fun of it, I was pretty embarrassed that they chose New Jersey for the next season of the Housewives show! Prior seasons have featured housewives from individual cities or counties, so why on earth are they focusing on the whole state in this show? From what I saw last night, the women all live in the same town, or at least the same area. I have to admit though, that even through the ridiculousness of this show, it wasn't quite as embarrassing as I had anticipated. If anything, it shows people that the state is not full of cities that look like Newark. That part actually made me happy. These women are the typical rich, snobby housewives, who live in large beautiful homes and shop and eat at the best places around. So for anyone out there who thinks New Jersey is made up of dirty, crime filled cities, guess again :-). An airport that you fly into is not an indication of the entire state. On that note though, please don't assume that every woman in the state acts like these women!
Back to my deployment adjustments...
Today I woke up happy again, and I even got to talk to Mr. V for a short time online this morning. I had already received a few emails from him, so I have to admit that the ability to communicate with him makes things much easier. I know a lot of women don't like the communication that the military has today. They don't think its enough. I personally am VERY happy that this is not the time period that my grandparents lived in. When my grandfather deployed on an aircraft carrier during the Korean War, my grandma only heard from him through letters that arrived VERY slowly...if they even arrived at all. I think its a little selfish to complain about bad communication now because from what I can tell, its pretty good. Granted, we only got to talk for a short time before his time was up on the computer, but the fact that we got to talk at all made me very happy and put me in a strange mood for the rest of the day. I say strange because I was so happy that I got to talk to him, but it also saddened me because I miss having him here to talk to whenever I want to. Just add that to the list of things causing my emotional mood swings!
Today I also realized that I WILL be ok throughout all of this if I can keep myself busy the way I have been. That thought was a very cheerful thought, especially considering the fact that I never thought I would stop crying a few days ago. However, once again, it also brought me some saddness because mixed in with the realization that keeping myself busy is the way to go, I realized that not even a week has passed since he left. I feel like time is flying by, but when I stop to look at the date, it really hasn't. I need time to fly by and not just feel like its flying by!
So wish me luck in getting through this! I always knew that a deployment was coming, but that reality still doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. I miss my husband, and will be eagerly anticipating his return home at the end of the year!
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